Calladitas No More

Receiving High Praise, J.Lo Uses Gender Neutral Pronouns To Describe Her Sister’s Second Child

A month after penning a love letter to her LGBT fans through Billboard’s gay pride month letter series “30 days of pride celebration,” Jennifer Lopez is once again on the newsroom floor for her usage of gender-neutral pronouns to describe a family member of hers.

On J.Lo’s Instagram post, Lopez used “they” as the pronoun to refer to her sister’s second child Brendan.

Brendan was chosen to represent their school in Washington D.C. at the Global Young Leaders Conference, and, like a proper tía, J.Lo se puso las pilas and went to social media to celebrate their achievements.

J.Lo’s usage of the gender-neutral pronoun opened up a dialogue about gender norms and the versatility of language on social media.

@jlo / Instagram @jlo / Instagram @jlo / Instagram

A lot of the support for Brendan was positive.

Some folks, however, weren’t following J.Lo’s usage of gender neutral pronouns:

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One person even commented on J.Lo’s grammar.

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Despite the common belief that the utilization of ‘they’ as a gender-neutral pronoun is incorrect, organizations like Merriam-Webster have explained that using “they” in a singular format is correct.

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This usage of “they” has been used throughout history. Merriam-Webster even classic Victorian writer Emily Dickinson’s comments on the nonbinary usage of the ‘they’ to describe someone without explicitly mentioning a gender.

J.Lo has previously been vocal about her support for the LGBT community.

Her involvement and executive producing “The Fosters,” Freeform’s award winning show about a lesbian couple who open their home and foster youth in the system.

In 2014, GLAAD awarded Lopez with the Vanguard award, an award members of media receive when they have made a “significant difference in promoting equality and acceptance of LGBTQ people”

As always J.Lo is slaying the game, one Instagram post at a time.

Broad City / Comedy Central

Queen!

READ: Jennifer Lopez Writes A Letter To Her Late Gay Aunt For Pride Month And It’s Incredibly Touching

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This Puerto Rican Illustrator Uses Art To Explore Her Sexuality

Fierce Boss Ladies

This Puerto Rican Illustrator Uses Art To Explore Her Sexuality

Art has the power to shift culture, and in Puerto Rico, a young illustrator is using it to help demystify female sexuality in a society where it’s largely still seen as taboo.

For the last four years, Guanina Cotto has used art as a way to explore her own sexuality, drawing erotic moments she has experienced to better understand what she likes and doesn’t like.

“It’s a tool to get to know myself,” Cotto, 25, told FIERCE. “It’s like writing for some people. For me, it’s like having a visual journal, where I draw ideas, what I’m feeling, new things I’ve explored and using it to learn about myself.”

Using Instagram as her visual diary, Cotto’s illustrations, which depict her lounging naked on a hammock, masturbating in bed, kissing other women or engaging in sexual practices with men, caught attention beyond her eyes. With more than 5 thousand followers, it’s become a site to challenge machista standards of female sexuality, gender expectations and heteronormativity on an island where public education teaches students sex is to be engaged in after marriage and where women are shamed, sometimes attacked, for daring to display their bare or scantily-dressed bodies.

The Isabela-based artist welcomes the attention her self-described “biographic soft erotic” illustrations have received, believing her portrayals could make people more comfortable seeing sexually liberated women in real life.

“My art is a way of normalizing sexuality,” she said. “Art exposes and stimulates people in many ways. I think the more people see the naked body, the more normal it will become.”

The process of normalizing an aspect of humanity that remains hush-hush, particularly in rural western municipalities like the one she lives in, comes with strains, however. In 2015, for instance, Collectivo Moriviví, a young women’s art collective based in the island’s metropolitan area, painted an anti-domestic violence mural that showed full-figured nude Black women with their faces covered. Months later, the piece, displayed in San Juan’s art district of Santurce, was defaced, with vandals drawing undergarments on the women’s bodies. For Cotto, whose work lives online, backlash to her art exists in reports to Instagram for explicit sexual content, a reprisal she says has become less frequent over the years.

Through normalizing female sexual autonomy and pleasure, Cotto believes it could help generations unlearn messages they were taught about their bodies, consent and relationships in school, through church and in their families.

She knows firsthand how detrimental these lessons on female morality and respectability are for young women trying to make sense of their desires. Growing up, Cotto attended a religious school, where educational instruction, and home lessons from her grandmother, taught her that premarital sex and self-pleasure were sins. While the artist does have a mother, who she describes as a feminist, that told her that she is in control of her body, the mixed messages impacted her connection with her body and sexuality and, as a result, her future romantic relationships.

“I grew up scared, scared of my own feelings and wants,” she said. “We grow up not knowing our own bodies and that we are capable of experiencing pleasure, too. They teach us that sex is something done to us, not for us to enjoy. We become objects, as if being beautiful and desirable is the most important thing to be.”

That fear and unfamiliarity of what healthy, respectful relationships look like, she shares, previously kept her tied to former lovers who wanted to control the way she dressed and acted in public. She believes women are less likely to stay in situations where they aren’t valued and respected if they are taught earlier in their lives that they have autonomy over their bodies.

“When we learn sexuality isn’t shameful, we can establish healthy boundaries and be more in tune with what makes us our true selves. We become empowered,” she said.

While Cotto views her art as personal, she also believes it, and others like it, have the power to allow women to feel comfortable in their bodies, own their sexuality and demand pleasure and respect. Her illustrations, which, in addition to presenting women engaging in eroticism, also depict them participating in daily activities like lounging, drawing or breast-feeding their infants nude, is often the first time people see women represented through a female’s gaze.

“When I draw the naked body of a woman, it’s not always sexual. Oftentimes, it is, but not always. For me, it’s about normalizing the body, showing the beauty of women and what it looks like to be a free woman, through a female’s gaze,” she said.

Read: After Sex Shame Led To A Porn Addiction, This Latina Is Encouraging All Women To Unlearn Ideas That Sexuality Is Dirty

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20 Sexy Questions To Reignite Your Bond With Your Girlfriend

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20 Sexy Questions To Reignite Your Bond With Your Girlfriend

Falling in love with the right person and learning everything you can about her is easy and natural. But although you might think you know everything you can about your special lady, we bet that there are still questions that are left unanswered in your life. For one, do you know everything you can about her sexuality? Probably not. But don’t worry because learning about her in a more intimate setting is something that can help you two get closer and strengthen your relationship in the long run.

That’s where these 20 sexual questions come in. These sexy questions are all things that you can ask your girlfriend tonight, tomorrow and the next day. And they are all guaranteed to bring further intimacy and continue to build your bond. So, get to cuddling and share some details of your sexy past and even sexier future — and get ready to hear hers.

1. Have you ever skinny dipped?

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This kind of question is sexy in and of itself because it forces you to talk about two things that are very alluring: Nakedness and being daring. It’s a question that can definitely create a lot more conversation and you can talk about where you’ve skinny dipped or, even better, where you want to skinny dip in the future, together.

2. Where would you love to have sex?

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People can have a lot of different answers to this question, so it’s definitely one that you want to ask your girlfriend earlier on in the relationship or when you are feeling that things are getting a bit stale. It’s the kind of question that can lead to a lot of really interesting conversations, honestly. And plans. Don’t forget to make the plans.

3. What is the sexiest thing about women to you?

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Women are sexy, period. And you probably already knew that since you find your girlfriend pretty darn sexy, too, but have you ever stopped to think what exactly makes her sexy to you? Ask this question of her and you both might end up surprising each other with what the conversation brings.

4. Do you like to be dominant or passive?

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Every relationship is complicated and everyone’s sexual desires are complicated but you can really delve deep into your girlfriend’s desires by asking her this question. It might even spark a fuller conversation where you talk about your own preferences, too.

5. What’s the ultimate role play for you?

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Role-playing is something that can take your relationship to the next level or get you out of a rut. It’s also something that can simply inspire some interesting conversations, which is why this is definitely a question that you should ask your sweetie. Maybe just wait until you’re in a really intimate moment first, though.

6. Who is your secret celebrity crush?

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Talking about your celebrity crushes is a sure-fire way to invite some fun conversation and intimacy into your relationship. Of course, the key here is to ask your girlfriend about her secret crush. You know, there’s always somebody that she may name that is unexpected and will solicit more sexy questions.

7. Are you more rough or passionate?

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Passion is an excelleny thing to have in a relationship but it’s definitely not the only thing. And when it comes to having sex, people tend to have a style. Some like it really rough and dirty while others like it passionate and sensual. Although neither is right or wrong, it’s good to know what your girlfriend prefers by asking her this question.

8. What kind of talk do you like, if any, in bed?

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Some people like sexy talk. Some people do not. Some people like it super dirty. Some do not. You may not know exactly what your girlfriend prefers just yet because it can be an awkward subject to just bring up out of the blue, so why not ask her? This way, you’ll have something new and totally sexy to talk about in bed.

9. What’s the sexiest thing someone has done to you?

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You can definitely make this a really interesting question if you ask what someone has done “to” her and “for” her. It will definitely mean two different responses, but I bet both of them will be surprising and interesting. Just don’t be afraid to share your own answer to this question, too.

10. What’s your favorite body type?

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One way to talk about the things that you each find sexy is to talk about the type of bodies that you find most attractive. This can be an interesting thing to bring up but definitely make sure to only bring it up if you are comfortable in your body and relationship, since you don’t want to get jealous over what she says.

11. What’s your view on “50 shades”?

50 Shades of Grey is a book and movie franchise that changed the world or, at least, the way women behave sexually. All of a sudden, it became okay (and even encouraged!) to be kinky. But how much do you know about your girlfriend’s opinion on the books and the sexy topic? Now’s the time to ask!

12. Have you ever had sex more than once in a day?

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No matter how good your sex life is, there is always room for improvement. When you are getting more intimate with your partner, you might want to know what their “record” is in terms of the most times they have ever had sex. And then, I suggest, you improve upon that number.

13. Where do you like being touched the most?

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Some of us fully admit that our breasts are the most sensitive place while others love gentle little kisses behind the ears. And some of us still find something else so erotic that it makes sex even better. This is a great question to ask earlier in your relationship so that you can make sure to touch that part more and more.

14. Have you ever had sex in a public place?

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Sex in public is still a taboo subject but it’s one that we should be discussing more because, for some people, it’s the pinnacle of sexuality. Whether or not you are turned on by it, it’s something that you should think about and consider with your partner. That’s why you should find out if she’s ever done it in a public place.

15. What is your favorite sexual position?

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Everyone has a favorite sex position and anyone who claims not to is clearly lying. This is definitely a daring question to ask your sweetie but it’s one that can lead to greater sexual satisfaction. If you know what they like (and know what you like), then you can do a lot more in the bedroom to bring pleasure to each other.

16. Have you ever been so horny that you couldn’t control yourself?

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This is definitely a sexy picture and an even sexier image to have of your girlfriend, though you’ll probably want to make sure that you’re fairly secure in your relationship before bringing this one up. It’s also best to talk about this when you are having a particularly intimate moment, perhaps laying in bed at the end of the day.

17. Have you ever been to a strip club? 

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Who says that men are the only ones that get to enjoy strip clubs? Us ladies can love them too, and perhaps you’re even the kind of couple who has ventured out to one together. But even if you’re not, this is a fun topic to bring up with your special lady and hear about her experience.

18. Have you ever gotten with someone you weren’t allowed to?

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One way to talk about taboo subjects in your relationship is to do it out in the open. That’s why you should definitely bring up whether your girlfriend has ever been with someone she wasn’t supposed to. Sure, it can lead to some interesting conversation… But it can also lead to some interesting revelations.

19. What kind of outfit would look best on me?

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This is the kind of question that you’ll want to ask your girlfriend when you are feeling particularly comfortable with her. But, when it comes right down to it, it would be a good idea to know what your partner likes for you to wear… and visa versa. That way, you can both always look great for each other.

20. Have you ever tried tantric sex?

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If you didn’t know this, tantric sex is about having a really intense, connected experience during sex (either by yourself or with a partner). It’s something really enjoyable that couples can enjoy together but, before you try that, you should definitely talk to your partner about whether or not she has tried it before… and what her experience was. And if not, perhaps it’s an experience you can have together.

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