El Amor

‘Amor Eterno’ Has Become The Song I Carry With Me In Love And Loss

The strings of the mariachi’s violins began to play the opening notes of “Amor Eterno,” and my arms were immediately covered in goosebumps. I began to cry. I tried to stifle my sobs with my hand, but there was no holding them back.

I looked around and saw my friend Priscilla was doing the same, and like a domino effect, the rest of our group began to well up with tears.

Here I am sobbing my eyes out to “Amor Eterno.” Photo credit: Shawna Ghafouri-Wehrley

A couple of years ago, eight of my girlfriends and I took a trip to Mexico City. While there was plenty of good times had, the highlight that has come to define that time is all of us drinking micheladas aboard a colorful trajinera in Xochimilco and crying to the mariachi playing “Amor Eterno.”

Over the years, that song has grown to signify something greater for many of us, providing a poignant soundtrack to our individual grief. For Priscilla, it’s her sister. For me, it’s my dad.

To say “Amor Eterno” holds a special place in my heart would be a gross understatement.

Written by arguably Mexico’s greatest composer, Juan Gabriel, the song is a first-person account of someone mourning the loss of a loved one who passed.

Como quisiera / que tu vivieras / que tus ojitos / jamas se hubieran / cerrado nunca / y estar mirandolos / Amor Eterno / Inolvidable

It was first released in 1984 by the legendary late singer RocĂ­o DĂșrcal on her album “Canta a Juan Gabriel Volumen 6,” a collection of her renditions of Gabriel songs. Gabriel himself would go on to perform it. The album and song became a massive hit, with the album being introduced into the Latin Grammy Hall of Fame.

While urban legend says the song is about Durcal’s son, who died in an accident in Acapulco, Gabriel wrote “Amor Eterno” in honor of his mother, who died in 1974. He received the news of her death while on tour in Acapulco, which is referenced in the song. El mĂĄs triste recuerdo de Acapulco.

DĂșrcal herself was not Mexican, but rather from Madrid. However, thanks in large part to her career-defining work with Gabriel, she has become one of Mexico’s biggest icons. Her remains are even divided between her home in Torrelodones, Spain, and BasĂ­lica de Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe in Mexico City. The song is perhaps the crowning achievement in their body of collaborative work and became a vital piece in Mexico’s cultural canon.

Because of this, “Amor Eterno” lives in my blood. It rattles my soul with its achingly beautiful strings, melancholy words, and the longing in DĂșrcal’s voice. It’s there in every important moment, regardless of if it’s a joyous or tragic one.

Credit: Christina Henderson

Even so, the song has reached beyond Mexico’s borders. Last year, an all-woman Guajira Son band played the song for me and my friends in Havana. The singer even held her hand to her chest and said “CanciĂłn hermosa! Viva MĂ©xico!”

Just as its title suggests, the song speaks to love that is eternal, love that isn’t limited to the physical presence of the one you hold in your heart and continues after our bodies turn to dust. “Amor Eterno” holds this power for many, particularly those who have suffered a great loss.

Coming from a culture that reveres death and the spiritual world makes the song even more meaningful. We even have a holiday dedicated to honoring the dead and giving them a bridge to return to Earth for a single night to spend with their loved ones. We mourn our dead openly and emotionally, and this song encompasses that intrinsic part of the culture.

Durcal’s sweet voice drips of yearning, twisting your heart into a knot. Funerals and memorial services often include a playing of “Amor Eterno” for weeping families and friends, sometimes played by a live mariachi plucking their guitars in the middle of the cemetery amongst all the other lost loves.

Growing up in Tijuana, baby showers (pronounce beybee chow-werrss by mom and tĂ­as) and despedidas de soltera always included the father- or groom-to-be arriving with a mariachi to serenade his beloved with “Amor Eterno,” perhaps as a promise that his devotion will be undying. If they break up, and many in my family did, the song is there again to kick them in the gut, even in the middle of a party – something I’ve definitely witnessed.

Just as Gabriel wrote this song to honor his late mother, the song has become the way I honor my dad. When he passed away in 2009, we decided not to have a mariachi at his memorial service, nor play Rocio’s singular version of the song, knowing we wouldn’t be able to handle hearing it in the presence of his photo and the marble urn that now contained every trace of his physical being.

Since then, the song has been there to simultaneously upset and console us, with Rocio’s voice speaking all the things we wish we could say: Y aunque tengo tranquila mi conciencia / Yo sĂ© que pude haber yo hecho mĂĄs por ti.

Every Christmas and Thanksgiving, when we put Rocio Durcal on during dinnereveryone inevitably falls to pieces, our tears salting our mashed potatoes. This past year was the first time no one broke down thinking of our dad, which later sent me down a guilt spiral thinking we’ve started to forget about him. So I listened to “Amor Eterno” alone in my car and brought him back.

Listening to the song is almost masochistic, and after this last Christmas, I realized that I continue requesting it from any mariachi within a 10-foot radius because of the pain it inflicts.

In listening to “Amor Eterno,” I ensure the hurt returns, and in doing so, my dad’s memory is still alive. If it keeps hurting, he’ll never be all the way gone.

Credit: Armen Manukian

When I begin to think about hearing the song when my mom passes, well I can’t. I can’t think about it because it’s just too much to handle.

A few years back, I took another step in commemorating this song’s importance in my life, and ensuring my dad’s lasting memory. Covering a large portion of my upper right arm is a skeleton hand holding a glass of red wine, all surrounded by pink roses. Rosas Mexicanas, vino, and skeletons are all symbols of life and death in my culture. And beneath it, in swirly cursive, is the song’s title. Now it’s an even bigger part of me, and the constant reminder of all my amores eternos.


READ: If You Grew Up In The ’00s, You Definitely Dedicated One (Or All) Of These Latina Jams To Your Crush

Has “Amor Eterno” played an important part of your life? Tell us your story!

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20 Lingerie Sets That Will Get You Ready for Valentine’s Day

Everyday Runway

20 Lingerie Sets That Will Get You Ready for Valentine’s Day

It’s only natural to want to look your best on Valentine’s Day. This includes your date-night outfit and the look you’ll slip into that evening. However, lingerie isn’t just for the benefit of your significant other. It should also be something that makes you feel comfortable and confident.

Luckily, there are plenty of lingerie companies ready to cater to our Valentine’s Day needs. Just pick your style, color and size and you’ll find a lingerie set perfect for your night of amor.

Try one of these lingerie sets for the Valentine’s night of your dreams.

1. Get your heart on with this sweet bustier set.

Adoreme.com


Nothing says Valentine’s Day like being covered in cute little hearts. Deck yourself out in this adorable matching bustier set and get ready for some love. Available at AdoreMe.com, this set is simple enough to slip on under your little black dress and bold enough for when you’re ready to put on a show. Available in plus sizes.

2. The babydoll of your dreams.

Victoria’s Secret


You’re already the angel of your novio’s dreams so this sweet babydoll is icing on the cake. A part of Victoria’s Secret Dream Angels line, this set offers a sheer skirt attached to a criss cross peekaboo halter. It’s sheer skirt will have you feeling fun and flirty. Available in 5 colors and 5 sizes.

3. A BERRY beautiful Valentine’s outfit.

Victoria’s Secret


For a sensual play on the typical V-day lingerie, try this deep berry number. From Victoria’s Secret, this teddy takes things to the next level with its plunging keyhole and all-over sheer coverage. Scalloped lace will have you feeling delicate but its bold cut just screams daring. Available in 3 colors and 5 sizes.

4. You’ll love how you feel in this sexy slip.

Adoreme.com


You can’t go wrong with this black set that’s anything but basic. Available at AdoreMe.com, this babydoll is lacy in all the right places and comes with a matching panty and adjustable straps. It’s little bow details will remind your love just what a gift you are and will have you ready to be unwrapped. Available in plus sizes. Also available in white.

5. Look hot in this hot pink teddy.

Victoria’s Secret


You can never go wrong with pink. Available from Victoria’s Secret, this hot pink teddy will set the tone for your hot night of passion. It’s lacy material, high neckline and thong bottoms are just the the right amount of sexy. Available in 3 colors and 5 sizes.

6. You won’t be feeling blue in this babydoll.

Frederick’s of Hollywood


Can’t choose between lace and mesh? No problem! This gorgeous teddy has them both and comes in a unique royal blue that will catch his attention. Offered by Frederick’s of Hollywood, the bodice has an underwire and padded cups to keep you feeling supported. Available in 2 colors and 4 sizes.

7. You’ll get all the besos in this bustier.

Victoria’s Secret


Every woman should have a good bustier in their lingerie rotation and this beautiful two-toned set perfectly fits that need. From Victoria’s Secret Dream Angels collection, this bustier is boned and has lined cups to make this an comfy under-clothing wear. Removable garters add to this hands-on experience. Available in 2 colors and cup sizes A-D.

8. Try on this charming chemise.

Frederick’s of Hollywood


Feminine and lacy, this chemise is a vision in lavender. Available from Frederick’s of Hollywood, this set features criss cross straps plunging from the bust to navel. These straps are mimicked on the back side — showing off your backstage talent if you know what we mean. Available in 4 sizes.

9. Take the plunge with this babydoll

Victoria’s Secret


This babydoll means business. Showing off a plunging neckline and a bare back, this set wants you to feel comfortable in your skin. Offered by Victoria’s Secret, it’s removable garters and simple silhouette easily make this an every day wear. Available in 3 colors and 5 sizes.

10. Sheer=sexy.

Frederick’s of Hollywood


This barely-there chemise mixes sophistication with sexiness. Mostly sheer expect for its padded cups, the set features a high neckline, cap sleeves and a bare back. Available by Frederick’s of Hollywood, this chemise says delicate from the front but daring from behind. Available in plus sizes.

11. Who said casual can’t be sensual?

Adoreme.com


If g-strings and thongs aren’t your thing, this set’s bralette and shorts combo might be your perfect match. Featuring a lace t-back bralette and tap shorts, this set sold by AdoreMe.com is both casual and flirty. Available in 5 sizes.

12. You’ll look great in these garters.

Adoreme.com


This red-hot, all-lace set is dramatic, daring and 100% a Valentine’s Day must. It’s demi contour corset is sure to show off your shape. The matching bustier set is available from AdoreMe.com. Add thigh high stockings with the garters for a sexier overall look. Available in plus sizes.

13. Mesh never looked so good.

Frederick’s of Hollywood


Seductive scalloped edges and see-through mesh make this chemise feel as luxurious as you’ll look. A sexy pushup, detachable garters and matching g-string make this Frederick’s of Hollywood set a sensual classic. Available in plus sizes.

14. Valentine’s Day means lace all over the place.

Fashionnova.com


If you’ve got it, flaunt it, mama! This lacy body suit leaves little to the imagination and essenuates what it covers. A FashionNova.com piece, it features a bare back and sides, a plunging neckline, and cheeky coverage in the back. Available in 2 colors and 3 sizes.

15. This bodysuit will have you ready to be unwrapped.

Adoreme.com


Mix some lovely lace and a bit of a bandage edge and you’ll get this sexy body suit. Available from AdoreMe.com, scalloped lace is criss crossed across your body using gold o-rings to keep you wrapped up. It’s unlined cups and cheeky panty make this an irresistible lingerie choice for your big night. Available in 5 sizes.

16. You’ll be sweet like pan dulce in this babydoll.

Adoreme.com


Fun and flirty, this red number adds a unique texture to the usual lace and mesh lingerie game. An AdoreMe.com original, the sweet babydoll utilizes soft velvet in the bodice and hem. As beautiful as this set will make you feel, it’s flyaway back also makes it easy to remove. Available in 5 sizes.

17. In blue, he can’t take his eyes off of you.

Adoreme.com


You won’t be left feeling blue this Valentine’s when your boo catches you in this set. With blue and silver threading laced throughout its mesh front, the bustier adds some glitz to your bedroom. Offered by AdoreMe.com, the form-fitting bodice will show off your curves beautifully. Available in plus sizes.

18. Get cuddly in this teddy.

Adoreme.com


With shimmering lace, a plunging front, and a cheeky panty, this teddy has sexy down to a science. The adjustable halter top makes sure you’ll have the perfect fit every time. Available from AdoreMe.com, this teddy is much more sheer than it appears. Available in plus sizes.

19. Sexual. Sexy. Satin.

Fashionnova.com


Even if you’d rather have a comfy pjs set than traditional lingerie, you can still show off your sexy. This satin two-peice features a pair of lace-lined shorts and an adjustable tank top. Offered by FashionNova.com, this set is available in 8 different colors and 7 sizes.

20. Feel lovely in this lace number.

Victoria’s Secret


Don’t let the high neck fool you. This teddy’s sexy keyhole cut out, bare back and cheeky bottom bring all you’ll need for Valentine’s night. Available through Victoria’s Secret, it’s from their Dream Angels lingerie collection. It’s adjustable halter offers comfort and style. Available in 3 colors and 5 sizes.

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20 Things To Avoid Eating On Your Valentine’s Day Date

relationships

20 Things To Avoid Eating On Your Valentine’s Day Date

Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays that, unfortunately, can be very stressful. Not only does it force couples to examine the status of their relationships (Are we just hooking up? Or are we finally serious?), but it also forces couples to plan a romantic date on the one night of the year where most restaurants are fully booked. Adding to that stress is the fact that most Italian restaurants are off limits (unless you want to scare your date off with your garlic breath).

Because we care about you, we’ve compiled a list of 20 foods to avoid eating on Valentine’s Day. So, before you lock in those reservations at your favorite grub spot, keep in mind that there are definitely foods that can kill romance faster than you can say “garlic breath”.

1. Garlic

@g_a_r_l_i_c_b_r_e_a_d/Instagram

We’ll start the list off with the most notorious romance-killing food: garlic. As we stated before, garlic breath can be a total turn-off. Who wants their romantic kiss to be ruined by an odor so strong that it’s famous for scaring off vampires? Take the safer route and opt for a cuisine that’s light on the use of garlic.

2. Onions

@wildrootscookery/Instagram


Onions are another common food additive that can make one’s breath less than pleasant. We’re not saying that you should avoid these pungent bulbs altogether (they’re practically everywhere), but it might be smart to order the French Onion Soup on a night with less smooching.

3. Oysters

@marijkehoos/Instagram


Oysters are another entry that makes this list because of their halitosis-inducing effect. Yes, oysters have the reputation of being an aphrodisiac (which would otherwise be perfect for a romantic night), but they have an even bigger reputation for carrying a very strong, very fishy smell. If you still can’t resist slurping down some molluscs with your amor, pack some Listerine strips in your purse just to be safe.

4. Tuna Salad

@wholeheartedindulgences/Instagram


Traditional tuna salad generally contains the tri-fecta of unromantic smells: onions, tuna fish, and relish. Unless you and your boo have a relationship that can withstand even the strongest of unpleasant orders, be kind to your S.O. and go with a B.L.T.

5. Bean Burritos

@budgetbytes/Instagram


As Latinas, we admit that we have a soft spot for burritos. Unfortunately, a burrito packed with beans can make for an uncomfortable (read: gassy) night of indigestion. If you’re planning on spending the whole night with your date, ask the waiter to hold the beans. But if you really need your bean fix, pop a Beano tablet before digging in. Your date will thank you.

6. Marinara Sauce

@thefamousmeatballers/Instagram


Just another reason to avoid Italian food on V-day. Yes, marinara sauce is delicious, but it is also a food notorious for ruining outfits. It’s tough to eat spaghetti and meatballs without splashing all over yourself. And walking out of a restaurant looking like a baby who’s just switched to solids isn’t a sexy look.

7. Ramen

@savorysweetsisters/Instagram


Although ramen might seem like the perfect choice for a cold February night, its messy noodles earn it a spot on this list. Let’s face it: there’s no pretty way to slurp ramen down. So, if you’re super secure in you and your partner’s relationship, have at it! But if you and your date’s relationship is still in its infantile stages, it’s better to steer clear.

8. Saucy Wings

@hotwingassassin/Instagram


Not everyone can look like Jessica Simpson when gobbling down a plate of hot wings. Yes, they’re delicious, but sauce-covered wings can be messy. Not to mention, it’s practically a requirement to eat them with your hands, which guarantees you’ll be reaching for, and discarding, napkins all night. Save the wings for football nights with your partner, when everyone will be covered in sauce with you.

9. Spinach

@keto_kim/Instagram


Here’s one of the few additions to this list that doesn’t earn a spot due to its smell. Spinach is practically odorless, but its infamous for getting stuck in people’s teeth. Not exactly a sexy look. In fact, it’s best to avoid leafy green veggies in general if you want to preserve a flawless smile for the night.

10. Chili Peppers

@punkerthanyou/Instagram


Chili peppers are a staple of a lot of Latin food, so this entry might land a little too close to home. The thing is,unless you have an esophagus made of steel, super spicy foods can cause some un-sexy side effects. Chili peppers are known to make their consumer sweat, as well as make their eyes water.

11. Corn on the Cob

@veggielexi/Instagram


Corn on the cob can also be one of those foods that gets stuck in your teeth. There’s nothing hot about a smile full of yellow kernels! Avoid at all costs.

12. Turkey

@devour_divine/Instagram


We doubt you’ll be tempted to have Thanksigivng in February, but just in case the opportunity arises, remember that turkey is full of tryptophan. And tryptophan has a reputation for making people fall asleep. No one wants to head home early due to sleepiness on a night when you should be up late with your date!

13. Red Wine

@youhadmeatbordeaux/Instagram

This might be a hard one to stick to, but if you’re trying to keep a kissable pout, you might want to avoid red wine. Although its no doubt a romantic drink, unfortunately, red wine has a tendency to stain its drinker’s lips blue or purple. If you know you’ll be imbibing later on, it might be best to invest in a burgundy lipstick to disguise the unwanted color change.

14. Too Much Alcohol in General

@cabocantina/Instagram


If you’re stressed about Valentine’s Day especially, it can be tempting to want to get rowdy in order to calm your nerves. But remember, alcohol lowers the drinker’s inhibitions, and that, in turn, can make you act stupid. Stick to a two drink limit to avoid any booze-fueled mistakes.

15. Brussel Sprouts

@sailor_bailey/Instagram


Although brussel sprouts, when prepared correctly, are delicious, this trendy veggie can have quite a…fragrant aroma, which can be off-putting to some people. If you’re trying to keep a romantic mood going, avoid this sulfurous cabbage.

16. Strong Cheese

@nadiabarlow/Instagram


That’s right–we suggest you avoid both stinky cheese and wine if you’re planning a romantic date night. We guess that means a spontaneous trip to Paris is off the table, right? If you must indulge, stick to milder cheeses like mozzarella or brie.

17. Raw Fish

@makesushi1/Instagram


Like all raw animal products, raw fish like sushi can be a hotbed of the salmonella bacteria. Eating raw fish like sushi or sashimi can be a gamble–there’s practically no way to guarantee it’s been prepared properly. You don’t want to end up with a bad case of food poisoning on Valentine’s day!

18. Veal

@foodstarz_official/Instagram


Veal doesn’t have a strong smell or the tendency to stain your best dress, but it does carry a negative connotation. If you don’t know your Valentine that well, it’s better not to freak them out by ordering roasted baby cow for dinner. Save that for an anniversary dinner (if at all).

19. Salad

@helly_mcjelly_sw/Instagram


We suggest avoiding salad on Valentine’s day for purely arbitrary reasons. Salad is a little boring. It’s Valentine’s day, after all! Say yes to the steak!

20. Cherries or Olives

@jordi.layetano/Instagram


And finally, we suggest you avoid both cherries and olives. Why? It’s unattractive to be intermittently pausing to spit out tiny pieces of food from your moth. If you have any control over your meal, opt for the pitted versions of these flavorful snacks.

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