El Amor

22 Things Mi Madre Never Told Me About Getting Married That I Wish I’d Known When I Was Single

Being single can be hard but being single can be *totally* amazing too, as you already know. I absolutely loved my single girl days and I love my newly married days now, too. The truth is that enjoying the single life and enjoying being coupled up don’t have to be mutually exclusive. Or, at least, we can fully admit that there are great advantages to both being a single chica and being in a relationship. Sure, you can’t really experience them at the same time but you CAN enjoy whatever stage of life you’re in.

So, in those terms, I wanted to write about why being coupled up is also amazing in order to remind you of some of the big as well as some of the small, totally silly, and kind of funny reasons why being in a relationship is awesome, too. From having someone else who can do the dishes (seriously, I can’t tell you how much I hate doing dishes!) to your constant movie buddy, here are 22 reasons why being coupled up is also amazing.

1. You have someone else who can do the dishes.

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My husband and I have a deal and we’ve had this since pretty much when we met: I do the cooking and he does the dishes. One of the big benefits of being coupled up is that, thankfully, you can split the chores. I mean, I’m not saying that you should get a boyfriend just to have someone help you around the house… but it IS quite a nice perk, honestly.

2. You have someone there to remind you to set that dentist appointment you’ve been avoiding.

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I absolutely HATE going to the dentist. Like, seriously, I hate hate hate it so much. It takes me months, if not years, to convince myself that I need to go check up on my teeth, which is why I am glad to have my husband around me now since he is super serious about anything medical. He’s always the first person to remind me to make that damn dentist appointment I’ve been avoiding and having that little push is seriously kind of nice.

3. Your partner can help you zip up that hard-to-zip dress.

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Look, I’m a self-sufficient independent woman who is happily in a relationship and I was happily single, too. But the difficulty of having a few dresses that are a huge pain in the you-know-what to zip up myself? Well, that can happily be a thing of the past when you’re in a couple.

4. Your tax refund is going to be bigger.

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One of the biggest perks of being married in the U.S. is that there is usually a tax benefit. I know that’s not exactly romantic but people get married for lots of reasons, including financial stability. So let’s just acknowledge that this is a thing, and it can be really great for some couples, and move on.

5. You can change careers without worrying where the next paycheck will come from.

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A big perk of being single is that you can change careers without worry, and that’s kind of a perk when you’re coupled up too. While single, you can change careers because you aren’t responsible to anyone else for their or your livelihood and that’s great. But when you’re coupled up, you can change careers because you have a support system already in place… And, well, you can work out with your partner so that you can switch careers and maybe be a one-income family for a bit while your new career takes off.

6. You can stop shaving your legs (if you want).

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You can stop shaving your legs, if you want, when you’re in a couple. Of course, this is basically true no matter where in life you are. If you’re single, you can also stop shaving your legs because you don’t have to please anyone but yourself. And when you’re in a couple, you still don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do… Of course, you’ll want to make sure your partner is on board with your individuality first.

7. You always have a movie buddy.

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One of the greatest pleasures of having a BFF or a bae is that you always have someone to go to the movies with. I love turning to my husband on a random night of the week and saying, “hey, wanna go to the movies?” Not that it isn’t easy to do this with a friend, but friends have their own schedules and movie tastes too. When you’re coupled up, your partner is kinda sorta obligated to go with you even if they aren’t that into the movie. And yes, that goes both ways so be ready.

8. And someone to check out that hot new show with (BUT…).

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Same as with movies, bae is always there to join you on the couch to check out that new TV show that everyone is talking about. And that’s pretty golden, except… Well, if you really love a show, then you can’t just binge watch it over the weekend. Instead, you have to be patient and watch it with your sweetie. And usually that’s okay, but sometimes can get a bit sad if you can’t watch your favorite shows as quickly as you were used to when you were single.

9. You can stop answering awkward family questions about tu novio.

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Mami, papi, tia, and abuela were always accosting you at family get togethers and asking you when you were going to get a boyfriend. Well, one of the unexpected side-effects of being coupled up is that you finally have an answer to their question (“I have a novio/novia!”)… And hopefully that means they can stop bugging, right?

10. You have your own personal cheerleader 24/7.

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Your BFF usually fills this role when you’re single, but when you’re coupled up, your partner becomes your de-facto BFF and also the person who’s behind you all the time. If you want to change your career, if you want to cut your hair short, if you want to do something fun or crazy or experimental, then your bae is behind you and cheering you on the whole time.

11. You can delete all of those frustrating dating apps.

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I met my husband on Bumble, so I have nothing but great things to say about the app. But, at the same time, I’ve also fully admitted that there are a LOT of frustrating things about using dating apps. They’re not always the easiest way to meet someone new, but when you’re coupled up, you can delete all of those apps and forget about all the creeps you got messages from while on there.

12. You can try new things in bed with someone you trust.

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One of the best parts of being win a stable relationship is that you can let a bit more loose in bed than you might have been able to before. Sure, there’s lots of fun things that you can do as a single gal but there’s just something about being with someone you trust that might open up new ideas and things you can try.

13. You always have someone to get that extra roll of toilet paper…

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This is a joke, but also kind of not a joke. I hate being in the bathroom and suddenly realizing that I just started my period and can’t reach the cupboard to get a tampon. Or, even worse, if I’m doing my business and need toilet paper only to realize that the last roll in the house is all the way across the room. Here’s where your sweetie can come in and fully save the day.

14. You have a shoulder to cry on or hide your face on during scary movies.

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Your bae is a great person to have around whenever you’re watching a scary movie and need to hide. I should know, cause I pretty much do this every other time we head to the movies. But the other nice part of having a partner is that you can hide your face and cry on their shoulder. Look, crying isn’t always pretty, but it’s pretty nice to have someone you can go to when you need to let those feelings out.

15. Your partner’s hug can literally make your day better.

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This one’s actually been proven by science, and it’s pretty good. Just six seconds of touching your partner in a tight hug, along with some deep breathing, can literally calm you down and put you in a better mood. I definitely run straight into my husband’s arms after a long, hard day at work and ask him to rub my back. Sure, hanging with the girls and getting happy hour drinks is pretty great too, but sometimes you just need a really great hug.

16. You get to test your boundaries.

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Everyone has their boundaries, both with family and with friends. So when you get together with a new partner, this is a great opportunity to test some of those boundaries. When you’re in a relationship, you’ll have to set boundaries for yourself and for your partner. How often will you spend time apart or together? When will you go hang out with their friends versus yours? What about family events? All of these will be great opportunities to learn more about yourself and your relationship.

17. You can have tons of silly, inside jokes.

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You’ll always have those tons of inside jokes with your besties, but inside jokes can also be had with your partner. It’s even true that eventually you’ll each learn some of each other’s favorite phrases and begin to use them unintentionally. It’s not a big deal. It’s the same as when you loved something your BFF said once and start to repeat it, but this time with your bae. Inside jokes help you feel closer to the people around you, so this is all pretty great in my eyes.

18. Your partner can make you popcorn when that midnight snack craving hits you.

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I sometimes have midnight snack cravings and I have no shame about it. But instead of going for that second serving of ice cream (again…), I usually turn to my partner who makes the best freshly popped corn ever. For some reason, despite me loving how to cook, pop corn is the one thing I’m really not good at. But thankfully, he is! Being in a couple means always having someone around to help you out of these tough little situations, and of course you’ll more happily do the same for him, amirite?

19. You have a personal foot massager for those super tired days after work.

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One of the things I love most about being married is that I have someone there whenever I have a hard day at work. Sometimes I cry or need a hug (see above), and sometimes I just want to lay down and have someone treat me to a foot massage. This can be a silly little perk of having a partner, but it’s a sweet one. Just don’t forget that everything goes both ways here, even with foot massages.

20. You and your partner get to create new memories together daily.

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Making memories as a single lady is pretty awesome, but so is making memories as a couple. You can travel with friends and you can travel with your partner, and all in all it’s all a great life. One of the things I love about being coupled up, though, is precisely making those great memories as a couple. Sometimes that includes family, friends, and sometimes it’s just us. All of it is pretty great, really.

21. You don’t have to clean up the cat litter all by yourself.

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Did I mention the whole “splitting chores thing”? Well, it bears repeating: As a proud cat lady, one of the things I now love most about being married is that my husband and I split duties not only over regular chores like laundry and dish washing but also the really hateful things like cleaning out the cat litter or taking the dog out with the pooper scooper. It’s nice to not have to deal with all of life’s grossness on one’s own, tbh.

22. You can rock the DINK lifestyle.

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DINK = Dual Income, No Kids. Having the DINK lifestyle is a pretty sweet thing and, fortunately and unfortunately, actually only something you can experience when you’re coupled up. Nothing against being single because there’s tons of reasons why it’s great, but having dual incomes and no kids (yet) can usually afford you some luxuries that you might not have been able to buy when it was just you. You should rock this as long as possible, though, because if you plan on having kids, the DINK life is finished.

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The Spanish ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ Is Being Shared To Honor Hispanic Workers Fighting COVID-19

No Pos Wow

The Spanish ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ Is Being Shared To Honor Hispanic Workers Fighting COVID-19

There’s no denying that the world looks a lot different now than it did in 1947. And while the list of all of the positive changes that the decades stretching between now and then have done for the world and minorities, a recent campaign is also highlighting the ways in which our current president could take some notes on certain values the United States held dear during this time. Particularly ones that had been pressed for by one of our former presidents.

As part of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “Good Neighbor Policy” effort, he worked to promote positive and healthy relations between the United States in Latin American countries.

At the time Rooseveltaimed to ensure that the North, Central and South American countries avoided breaking under the influence of Axis countries during World War II. As part of this campaign, Roosevelt comissioned a Spanish and a Portuguese version of the U.S. national anthem. According to Time Magazine he also “recruited Hollywood to participate in this Good Neighbor Policy; Walt Disney went on goodwill tour of South America, hoping to find a new market for his films, and ended up producing two movies inspired by the trip: Saludos Amigos (1942) and The Three Caballeros (1944). The Brazilian star Carmen Miranda also got a boost, and her role in The Gang’s All Here made her even more famous in the U.S. And alongside these cross-cultural exchanges, the U.S. government decided it needed an anthem that could reach Spanish speakers.”

According to NPR, Clotilde Arias, wrote wrote the translation at the end of World War II, was born in the small Peruvian city, Iquitos in 1901 and moved to New York City to become a composer when she was 22-years-old. Her version of the anthem is now part of an exhibit at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C.

Now in an effort to support Latino communities affected by the coronavirus, the non-profit We Are All Human Foundation’s Hispanic Star campaign commissioned the a remake of the song.

Hoping to raise awareness of its Hispanic Recovery Plan and efforts to help to connect Hispanic small businesses and workers with resources during the pandemic, the campaign brought the old recording from obscurity.

For the song, the 2019 winner of the singing competition La Voz,  Jeidimar Rijos, performed “El Pendón Estrellado.” Or, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” 

The song has already received quite a bit of comments and support on Youtube.

Hang in there, fam. We can only get through this together.

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These Online Botanicas Will Satisfy The Bruja In You

fierce

These Online Botanicas Will Satisfy The Bruja In You

With young Latinxs reclaiming the bruja identity, the demand for access to novenas, herbs and other specially crafted ritual tools has grown tremendously. Luckily, these Latinx-owned online botanicas have made it easy for brujas, or anyone who wants to dive deeper into the practice, to get their hands on the goods. Whether you’re looking to conjure up more cash flow or secure some extra protection from those pesky mal de ojos, these shops have the magia you need.

1. The Flowerchild Bruja

You know you’ve received some real tesoro when you open your delivery and see the holographic cellophane. Unmistakable and unique products are what make The Flowerchild Bruja’s shop un cielo de flores. Garden Smudge Sticks adorned with colorful flowers and loose herbs packaged in clear hearts make this online botanica a must-visit if you’re looking to manifest more love and beauty into your life.

2. Brooklyn Brujeria

No forlorn-looking saints and pale stricken Marys here! Brookyn Brujeria offers a fresh and modern take on the classic bruja necessity of novena candles. At $10 a candle, you can enhance the vibrations and style of your space without blowing all your chavo. With intentions like Boss Bitch and F*ck Outta Here, these ain’t your abuelitas’ novenas.

3. The Hoodwitch Store

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Thank you for all of your love & support to those who have been readers and customers of @thehoodwitch over the years. ♥️You know truly how hard I work and that this is my livelihood and culture. Visual art and magic ARE my life and practice. Not a peach flavored “turquoise” glitter drink. My magic is in my blood, my magic is in my ability to bring life to my visions, it is creation & destruction. Over the last 6 years, I have been so honored and lucky to be featured in some of the largest media publications internationally not limited to Instagram. This is bigger than that and the creative team for Starbucks knew that. I have personally worked on consulting large companies in their design concepts this work comes naturally to me. “So what’s the big fuss?” My personal style has become synonymous with the visual aesthetic of my brand. No, I absolutely did not “invent” the crystal balls nor acrylic nails but What I created was a space for myself along with other POC to feel represented and have visual imagery that was representative of us. The colorful candles of my local botanicas, my gold jewelry, and my long nails clutching my crystals are certainly not “new” but to see them presented in a manner that I shared visually in this space was. Katherine de Vos Devine @devosdevine is a lawyer and art historian who wrote a powerful and insightful look as to what exactly is happening with this situation and we are sharing it in our story today because more than anything she truly gives the full tea of the situation. I can strip away the crystal balls, the nail art, and delete all of my beautifully curated photos but I will always be me, I will always be my grandmother’s voices and wisdom. I will create, and I will always know my value and my worth. I trust and believe that my ancestors and my guides are looking after me. These giants may have the money to bully artists, creatives, and small business but we know the truth and absolutely must not allow it. As a small business owner, I appreciate you standing with us in this uphill journey and even if it goes nowhere, at the end of the day I can laugh to myself knowing that Starbucks made a drink inspired by HW 🔮

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If you’re in the market for an obsidian scrying mirror, unique tarot decks or nail polish for your mystic manos, then The Hoodwitch Store is your one-stop bruja shop. Be sure to also check out the Bruja Bookshop tab, where you’ll find vintage, one-of-a-kind libros to up your witchy wisdom. The shop offers some rare finds en español as well. However, make sure you stay up to date on the latest inventory. These goods sell out fast!

4. House of Intuition

If you live in LA, you’ve most likely heard of House of Intuition. With four brick and mortar stores throughout the area, plus an online shop, it’s probably a wise investment to grab one of their “Success” intention candles. Their beautifully colored novenas aren’t the only reason to check out the shop, though. Seriously, this casa is staked with everything from crystals skulls, cauldrons and wands to a line called “Hair Mystics” featuring crystal-infused hair mists. You’ll be glad your intuition led you here.  

5. Lunar Magic Shop

Lunar Magic Shop is the super affordable and super thoughtful shop with some of our favorite bruja apparel. You will for sure want to grab the “My Mom Will Hex You” tee for the little one in your life or the “I Am My Own Sacred Place” one for yourself. While you’re at it, you might as well secure the “Motherhood”and “Student” crystal kit bags. This small shop definitely has the whole family’s brujeria needs in mind.

6. Curandera Press

While this shop is currently taking a small hiatus, they will re-launch on August 1. This gives us time to save up for a big vela haul. We could all use some divine intervention with lazy lovers and bad hair days, right? With Curandera Press’ “No Mas Amante Perezoso” and “Good Hair Day” velas, your prayers are answered. We’re excited to see what intentions they roll out next.

Read: In These Trying Times, Boricua Bruja Emilia Ortiz Provides A Digital Space For Healing

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