Breakups are hard. One minute you want to call your ex to give them an angry, unfiltered piece of your mind, and literally 60 seconds later you’re resisting the urge to show up at their doorstep with a mixtape of all the songs you dedicated to each other.
It’s a constant back and forth that’s really effed up and totally soul-crushing, but it happens to the best of us. Sometimes the only thing that can get us through our heartbreak is listening to our favorite musicians sing all of our feelings, because they’ve been there too. And when it comes to música en español, La India is among the queens of breakup hits.
Here, the Puerto Rican salsera touches every stage of romantic separation and somehow makes us want to dance in between our crying and pillow punching.
1. When you’re desperate for answers, “Sobre El Fuego” will get you through all those questions you have.
It happened. You two broke up, and now you’re trying to make sense of it. The questions, as asked by La India: “Why did you mistreat me?” “Why did you leave?” The drive to know what went wrong is burning. You need to know!
2. Then you start to wonder if there’s anything that can be done to salvage your relationship. You start to bargain and “Te Daré Dulzura” totally gets this stage.
So you think you’ve figured out what went wrong, and now you’re ready to make amends, and by that you really mean make promises you may or may not keep. You’ll be a better girlfriend, more supportive, attentive, fun – whatever it is they need. You are willing to take on the burden of repairing this broken relationship all on your own, taking responsibility for everything.
3. But eventually, you come to terms with the fact that you’re never getting back together, but that doesn’t mean that “Nunca Voy A Olvidarte” won’t resonate.
Your desperate pleas didn’t work. They’re over it – or maybe they’re just enjoying the chase – so you tell yourself you have to move on, even though you know you will never forget this person and will love them forever.
4. And just when you thought you were over each other… There’s a relapse, because “Costumbres.”
Oh wait. The absence of your desperate “I’m sorry,” “take me back,” “I’ll do whatever you want me to do” text messages has the ex wondering if you really moved on. They reach out, you respond, and all of a sudden you’re getting your wish: another try.
5. But you’re too good for this and you realize “No Me Conviene.”
You promised to do better, and every day you do, until you realize you’re the only one putting in any real effort. You can’t take responsibility for everything, and you know that now. The fact that they don’t is a blow, and you’re realizing, maybe this person does not suit you after all. This time, you’re the one who initiates the split.
6. Oh, what were you thinking?! “Ese Hombre” que tu vez allí es un gran necio, un estúpido… Her words, not yours or ours.
Here you are again, alone in your room replaying the years of your relationship. But this time you’re angry. You can catch the lies, deceit, manipulation and disrespect that your sadness didn’t let you see the first time you broke up. You see this person for the trash they are. As La India says, they’re a conceited, selfish fool, a jealous clown without a heart who’s insecure and was a horrible lover. You find empowerment in your anger. You remember for the first time in a long time that you matter, too.
7. Then people who side with your ex start to talk. They talk and “Dicen Que Soy” all these horrible things, but you don’t give a f–––.
So your ex’s friends have noticed your angry social media posts and are forming not-so-nice opinions of you without hearing your side of the breakup story. “How could she,” they say. But you’re fine. They can call you a dominant, arrogant, traitor who bewitched your ex. They can say whatever they want about you. You’re untroubled because you know what happened and you’re all right with yourself.
8. But you take a deep breath and you accept that you’re going to be fine without them. You tell yourself “Me Voy a Acostumbrar” and you move on.
Okay, time to cut the drama. Yes, the ex mistreated you and put you on the wildest roller coaster ride of your life, but this person, and your relationship with them, isn’t deserving of hate. You loved them for a reason, and despite all the hurt they brought you, there were plenty more times of joy, love and laughter. You can both acknowledge and accept that, while you may still love (or disdain) them, they were but a chapter in your life. You learn how to live your life without them, accustom yourself to a life sans-ex, and you do.
9. After the acceptance phase, you know you’re over it. And you sing “Que Me Importa” because you couldn’t care less if they reach out.
It’s been months, maybe years now, and you can finally say you’re over it and you mean it. Right when you do, you receive a text message from a number not saved in your phone, saying, “I miss you.” It’s them. What do you care? You’re unfazed. Their tears and pleas mean little to you now.
Bonus: You learn to love yourself, because “Soy Mujer” and you got this with or without them.
Through your heartbreak, you learned a thing or two about yourself. You survived great loss, but now you know your strength. You know the love you’re capable of giving and the one you deserve. You’re a rebel woman, immodest woman, independent woman – and you’re blessed to have become her.