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13 Pick-Up Lines I’m Tired Of Hearing From Non-Latinx Men

Pickup lines. Catcalling. Street Harassment. We’ve all been subjected to the worst of it out there, and somehow it never works but keeps happening. The truth is, if you need a weird name for the kind of way you are talking to women, odds are it isn’t what we want.

How do you we know it doesn’t work? Well, simply put, it’s been around for a long time and no one has ever looked back at their lives and named it as the pivotal point in their long-term happy relationship.

Whatever the men out there are thinking when they throw these tired lines at us, we’ve been hearing them for a long time and we can all bond over the sad gross history of it all together here today.

1. ¿Hablas español?

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Usually delivered in the worst Anglo accent ever, this gross comment gets shot at you while you’re deliberately ignoring el idiota in question.

Newsflash: Even if google translate was needed here I guarantee your hot take would go nowhere because who would ever respond to this annoying approach to talking to a woman.

2. Where are you from?

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Now there are reasons why I would answer this question or even ask it in a healthy conversation with other people of color or immigrants. We share travel stories together because they help us bond. But this question coming up unprompted from a stranger as a pickup line? Ummm no.

The xenophobia and fetishization present are too much to make it appropriate as a first-time line.

3. So are you mixed? What are you mixed with?

This one is gross and usually delivered by a man who has a fetish for fascist race science. Yes, many Latinas are in fact mixed race. However, this question isn’t posed by some intellectual historian with genuine interest for our cultural histories. Rather, it’s posed by some fetishist who dreams that our darker skin is part of the world trade routes delivering spices and sugar directly to his peen. Never, ever gonna happen.

4. Girl, you spicy!

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You know the stereotype. Latina Women are supposed to be like Latinx food! Even though a huge swath of Latin America doesn’t really have a lot of spicy cuisines (trust me, my family is from El Salvador and I have the weakest spice tolerance ever). Odds are these men don’t even want a girl who is “spicy” whatever that means and can barely handle black pepper on their bland mayo sandwich.

5. I studied in Mexico/Guatemala/Costa Rica for a year once!

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=Hello gross student man! I am glad you have accidentally been in one of the many Spanish-speaking countries that exist for a short period of study! Unfortunately, I and many other Latinas do not have the privilege of going back to our home countries ever because we don’t have the financial resources. Kindly never ask me about why I haven’t returned to my significantly less peaceful country of El Salvador/The Dominican Republic/Brazil again!

6. I like Latinas because they are more traditional and submissive.

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But you’re wrong! One thing I’ll have you know is that the stereotype of good Latina wives who give birth to a row of children, go to church, and obey their husband is dated and toxic. Our grandmothers may have given you this impression from brief glimpses in movies and books, but never forget: they also probably poisoned their husbands and joined leftist uprisings. Sorry if that is not the “spicy” but also “obedient” woman you were hoping for.

7. I like thick Latinas.

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I won’t even get into how many “non-thick” Latinas exist. I’m just going to say, as a thick Latina, that will never, ever happen. Never. You can grow your own ass to grab.

8. Teach me Spanish!

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There are so many Latinas who don’t speak Spanish. But before I go there, I’ll also say there are even more Latinas in and out of the U.S. who don’t get the privilege of learning fluent English. As English-speaking Latinas in the U.S., we have a distinct privilege over those women, often our cousins, mothers, and grandmothers who will never get the same opportunities we do. And even so, I would never, ever want to use that privilege to teach a misogynist dude to speak another language.

Anyway, Duo Lingo is free. Bye!

9. Have you ever been with a white guy?

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Why yes, I do hate myself! And no, not enough to hook up with you.

10. Anything including the word “Mamacita”

Any man who is can manage to call you a mamacita unprompted in public is embarrassing enough to avoid completely. We’ve all heard it. We all know we’re done with it.

11. You can barely hear your accent!

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Pointing out that a Latina speaks okay or great English is never a compliment. Why do they assume all Latinas are learning English as a second or third language, even though doing so is impressive. Instead of commenting on someone’s English-language abilities, dudes should mind their own business instead. I also answer this in my clearest California accent, “Sorry I don’t speak English.”

12. I bet you know how to move.

Photo Credit: Unsplash @omarlopez1 

Some of these are definitely stereotypes disguised as compliments. Yes, Latinas often have more rhythm than the average alabaster menace, but that doesn’t mean we want to dance with this gringo in particular.

13. Any offer to marry you for “papers” even as a joke.

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First of all, I would rather move to a different state than marry 99.9% of the creeps who think this is funny. Second, it presupposes the residency status of the woman in question. Stop assuming we’re all immigrants. Stop assuming we want to marry you for American citizenship or residency. Stop talking to us. Actually just stop talking! Leave women alone #2k18. And thank you for coming to my TED talk.


Read: 9 DIY Halloween Costumes For Your Little Frijol

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The Spanish ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ Is Being Shared To Honor Hispanic Workers Fighting COVID-19

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The Spanish ‘Star-Spangled Banner’ Is Being Shared To Honor Hispanic Workers Fighting COVID-19

There’s no denying that the world looks a lot different now than it did in 1947. And while the list of all of the positive changes that the decades stretching between now and then have done for the world and minorities, a recent campaign is also highlighting the ways in which our current president could take some notes on certain values the United States held dear during this time. Particularly ones that had been pressed for by one of our former presidents.

As part of Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “Good Neighbor Policy” effort, he worked to promote positive and healthy relations between the United States in Latin American countries.

At the time Rooseveltaimed to ensure that the North, Central and South American countries avoided breaking under the influence of Axis countries during World War II. As part of this campaign, Roosevelt comissioned a Spanish and a Portuguese version of the U.S. national anthem. According to Time Magazine he also “recruited Hollywood to participate in this Good Neighbor Policy; Walt Disney went on goodwill tour of South America, hoping to find a new market for his films, and ended up producing two movies inspired by the trip: Saludos Amigos (1942) and The Three Caballeros (1944). The Brazilian star Carmen Miranda also got a boost, and her role in The Gang’s All Here made her even more famous in the U.S. And alongside these cross-cultural exchanges, the U.S. government decided it needed an anthem that could reach Spanish speakers.”

According to NPR, Clotilde Arias, wrote wrote the translation at the end of World War II, was born in the small Peruvian city, Iquitos in 1901 and moved to New York City to become a composer when she was 22-years-old. Her version of the anthem is now part of an exhibit at the Smithsonian Institution in Washington, D.C.

Now in an effort to support Latino communities affected by the coronavirus, the non-profit We Are All Human Foundation’s Hispanic Star campaign commissioned the a remake of the song.

Hoping to raise awareness of its Hispanic Recovery Plan and efforts to help to connect Hispanic small businesses and workers with resources during the pandemic, the campaign brought the old recording from obscurity.

For the song, the 2019 winner of the singing competition La Voz,  Jeidimar Rijos, performed “El Pendón Estrellado.” Or, “The Star-Spangled Banner.” 

The song has already received quite a bit of comments and support on Youtube.

Hang in there, fam. We can only get through this together.

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These Online Botanicas Will Satisfy The Bruja In You

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These Online Botanicas Will Satisfy The Bruja In You

With young Latinxs reclaiming the bruja identity, the demand for access to novenas, herbs and other specially crafted ritual tools has grown tremendously. Luckily, these Latinx-owned online botanicas have made it easy for brujas, or anyone who wants to dive deeper into the practice, to get their hands on the goods. Whether you’re looking to conjure up more cash flow or secure some extra protection from those pesky mal de ojos, these shops have the magia you need.

1. The Flowerchild Bruja

You know you’ve received some real tesoro when you open your delivery and see the holographic cellophane. Unmistakable and unique products are what make The Flowerchild Bruja’s shop un cielo de flores. Garden Smudge Sticks adorned with colorful flowers and loose herbs packaged in clear hearts make this online botanica a must-visit if you’re looking to manifest more love and beauty into your life.

2. Brooklyn Brujeria

No forlorn-looking saints and pale stricken Marys here! Brookyn Brujeria offers a fresh and modern take on the classic bruja necessity of novena candles. At $10 a candle, you can enhance the vibrations and style of your space without blowing all your chavo. With intentions like Boss Bitch and F*ck Outta Here, these ain’t your abuelitas’ novenas.

3. The Hoodwitch Store

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Thank you for all of your love & support to those who have been readers and customers of @thehoodwitch over the years. ♥️You know truly how hard I work and that this is my livelihood and culture. Visual art and magic ARE my life and practice. Not a peach flavored “turquoise” glitter drink. My magic is in my blood, my magic is in my ability to bring life to my visions, it is creation & destruction. Over the last 6 years, I have been so honored and lucky to be featured in some of the largest media publications internationally not limited to Instagram. This is bigger than that and the creative team for Starbucks knew that. I have personally worked on consulting large companies in their design concepts this work comes naturally to me. “So what’s the big fuss?” My personal style has become synonymous with the visual aesthetic of my brand. No, I absolutely did not “invent” the crystal balls nor acrylic nails but What I created was a space for myself along with other POC to feel represented and have visual imagery that was representative of us. The colorful candles of my local botanicas, my gold jewelry, and my long nails clutching my crystals are certainly not “new” but to see them presented in a manner that I shared visually in this space was. Katherine de Vos Devine @devosdevine is a lawyer and art historian who wrote a powerful and insightful look as to what exactly is happening with this situation and we are sharing it in our story today because more than anything she truly gives the full tea of the situation. I can strip away the crystal balls, the nail art, and delete all of my beautifully curated photos but I will always be me, I will always be my grandmother’s voices and wisdom. I will create, and I will always know my value and my worth. I trust and believe that my ancestors and my guides are looking after me. These giants may have the money to bully artists, creatives, and small business but we know the truth and absolutely must not allow it. As a small business owner, I appreciate you standing with us in this uphill journey and even if it goes nowhere, at the end of the day I can laugh to myself knowing that Starbucks made a drink inspired by HW 🔮

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If you’re in the market for an obsidian scrying mirror, unique tarot decks or nail polish for your mystic manos, then The Hoodwitch Store is your one-stop bruja shop. Be sure to also check out the Bruja Bookshop tab, where you’ll find vintage, one-of-a-kind libros to up your witchy wisdom. The shop offers some rare finds en español as well. However, make sure you stay up to date on the latest inventory. These goods sell out fast!

4. House of Intuition

If you live in LA, you’ve most likely heard of House of Intuition. With four brick and mortar stores throughout the area, plus an online shop, it’s probably a wise investment to grab one of their “Success” intention candles. Their beautifully colored novenas aren’t the only reason to check out the shop, though. Seriously, this casa is staked with everything from crystals skulls, cauldrons and wands to a line called “Hair Mystics” featuring crystal-infused hair mists. You’ll be glad your intuition led you here.  

5. Lunar Magic Shop

Lunar Magic Shop is the super affordable and super thoughtful shop with some of our favorite bruja apparel. You will for sure want to grab the “My Mom Will Hex You” tee for the little one in your life or the “I Am My Own Sacred Place” one for yourself. While you’re at it, you might as well secure the “Motherhood”and “Student” crystal kit bags. This small shop definitely has the whole family’s brujeria needs in mind.

6. Curandera Press

While this shop is currently taking a small hiatus, they will re-launch on August 1. This gives us time to save up for a big vela haul. We could all use some divine intervention with lazy lovers and bad hair days, right? With Curandera Press’ “No Mas Amante Perezoso” and “Good Hair Day” velas, your prayers are answered. We’re excited to see what intentions they roll out next.

Read: In These Trying Times, Boricua Bruja Emilia Ortiz Provides A Digital Space For Healing

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