The matriarchs of our families, our abuelas deserve unwavering respect for everything they’ve done to love and raise us. Teaching us right from wrong, showing their love through food and quietly sacrificing for their loved ones, our grandmas are extraordinary people. Still, that doesn’t stop us from making fun of these hilarious little women.

There’s no better place to find jokes about our abuelitas than on Twitter. Whether it’s about their salty ways or their tough love, there’s plenty of tweets that poke good natured fun at them. Just don’t let your abuela catch you laughing.

They’re pretty funny, but if you laugh at these abuela tweets, you’re def going to hell.

1. Abuela just isn’t tech savvy.

Twitter / @noproperlady

To be honest, you’re probably lucky if your abuela’s house even has wifi. If it does, don’t count on an easy-to-remember password. Our abuelas didn’t come up in the tech age like we did so it’s understandable that this stuff is hard for them. Still, don’t make fun of your grandmother too much unless you want to be stuck doing tech support.

2. *Stares in Abuelita*

Twitter / @yeli_tu

Let’s be real, not much is going to stop an abuelita from making judgements about her grandchild’s life. Not even the afterlife. So, you can be sure that no matter what you’re doing, your abuela is somewhere out there looking at you while tiredly mumbling, “Ay, Dios.”

3. That authentic Abuela smell.

Twitter / @sarair_

Considering our abuelas stay trying to feed us, it makes sense that even their scent is tied to the kitchen. Whether it’s pozole and limón or menudo and pan dulce, those smells are kind of like your abuela’s personalized perfume. It might not be Chanel N°5, but it smells great to us.

4. You’re never too grown to get yelled at.

Twitter / @brittalaflame

If you think you’re old enough to avoid getting chewed out by abuela, think again. As matriarch of la familia, she’s earned the right to check you whenever she wants. However, it’s not just you that’s in for it. Whenever you feel bad about getting in trouble, remember all those times you’ve seen your abuela take your mom down too.

5. Don’t mess with perfection.

Twitter / @iwatchVHS

When it comes to things that are sacred, their home cooking is like a religion to our abuelas. You mess with that, and you’re messing with something almost holy. So, if you don’t want your abuelita to look like this, you might just was to comer los frijoles like she told you to.

6. She’s earned it.

Twitter / @kelseydarragh

Listen, abuela has had a hard day and she deserves to unwind. It may be 9 am here but what do they say about it being 5 o’clock somewhere? Don’t judge abuela. Just give her una mas tequila shot and go on with your business.

7. Abuelita tried to save our soul.

Twitter / @ItsAllBollocks

Mija, you’re precious to abuela. She only wants to make sure you’re protected in this world and the next. The least you could do is gargle some holy water and stop making fun of your poor abuelita.

8. The newest Olympic sport.

Twitter / @shadiacrespo

Abuela might love you, but she’s not above taking off her chancla and putting you in your place. So, abuela’s naturally going to dominate in this game. Look at it this way, you weren’t victimized by her chancla — you were just her training partner.

9. The Look™

Twitter / @Lib_Librarian

Garunteed, if you’re back on your BS, you’re going to get that official Look™ from your abuela. It could send a chill down the spine of the baddest hombre and stop your grown tios right in their tracks. Sure, it’s easy to make fun of the Look™ when you aren’t on the receiving end but you better hope abuela doesn’t turn it towards you.

10. Abuelita likes to party, too.

Twitter / @lelatoledo14

There are two possibilities here. This abuela could have only seen the word “Jesus” and shared it in hopes to spread el amor de Dios. Or, abuelita just likes to par-tay. Either way, you do you, grandma and thanks for the laugh.

11. She’s got your best interest at heart.

Twitter / @Viciousjess

If you think you have freedom to pursue anyone you want, think again. When she asks “Y el novio?” she’s not trying to see someone with a giant tattoo on his face. Unless that tattoo is La Virgincita or the crucifixion. Those MIGHT get a pass.

12. Sana sana colita de rana

Twitter / @fifyy01

Abuelas made Vivaporu what it is today. Now, even folks outside the Latinidad know the power of this little jar. That being said, if abuelas could mix their love of food with their love of Vicks, we’d already know it. However, there’s no doubt they already tried it.

13. Savage, abuela, savage.

Twitter / @WandyFelicita

Abuelas don’t hold their tongues when it comes to criticizing their grandkids. In fact, you’re sure to get some solid shade if abuela is feeling especially feisty. That art of subtle yet devastating shade is something you can’t be taught. You simply inherit the talent when you become an abuelita yourself.

14. This look didn’t age well.

Twitter / @rauls2cool

Keep in mind this was the style back in the day, but that tattooed makeup didn’t age well with the changing trends. Especially when it comes to those thin, high-arched eyebrows abuela has tattooed up on her forehead. Still, be careful about teasing abuela over this look unless you want her to roast you on your own makeup game.

15. Abuela swears by it.

Twitter / @krystashayeoh

If you look in every purse and bag in your abuela’s home, you’re going to find tubs of Vaporu. According to her, this magicial miracle can cure your cold, stop your runny nose, heal your broken bones, heal your broken heart and find you a new man. Here’s to hoping we can believe in ourselves as much as our abuelas believe in vaporu.

16. Abuela didn’t raise no diablos.

Twitter / @commonhspanicg

Abuela didn’t raise no dark brujas so you better not show up looking like one. If you come around with those devil nails, be prepared to get on your knees and recite the rosario for the rest of the night. She’s just trying to save your soul, mija, and that’s no laughing matter.

17. Every Abuela everywhere.

Twitter / @kaliwhatchumean

No matter where your grandma is from or how old she is, she probably looks like this. It’s only natural. One day you look like yourself, and the next day you’ve become an abuela. Is it funny? Sure, but you might not want to laugh. This is a glimpse into your own future, after all.

18. Masters of chisme.

Twitter / @taejinkoook

If you want that good chisme, you’ve got to head to abuela’s kitchen for the download. She’s got the goods on the whole community and she’s ready to spread everyone’s business. Except for you, of course. She’d never gossip about her precious grandchild. Just kidding; she’s totally talking about you too.

19. We get it from our abuelas.

Twitter / @DiovanniFrazier

Abuela has always been a bad babe, but when she was your age, she was the fiercest mujer on the block. She definitely hasn’t forgotten about it. So, if you ever start feelin’ yourself a bit too much, allow abuelita to humble you a bit. It will serve as a reminder of what a babe SHE was.

20. Every BBQ ever.

Twitter / @commonhspanicg

If anyone deserves to kick back and enjoy the asado, it’s abuela. Grab her a cerveza and fix her un otro plato. Our abuelas give us so much joy, fun, love and knowledge so let’s show these cute old ladies our respect.

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Dale, we’re going to have the period talk. And not the one that your mother never gave you. Vamos a hablar en all the ridiculous superstitions and period stigmas de nuestras mamis and how it’s affected us growing up. I’ll start. Beginning at age eight or nine, my mom and tías suddenly got a magical glint in their eye telling me que ‘any day now, you’ll get your period and become a woman and get your own tetas.’ K.

That’s it. That’s all the info I got until the day I got my period, with years of buildup, and then the true horror of it all sunk in. This isn’t just one magical glow-up day, like in the Sims? I just feel like mierda for five days and then it happens *cada mes* until I’m una viejita?!

To top it off, talking about the nitty gritty details of what to do on your period was taboo.

@tigerjean95 / Twitter

They just give you the fattest pads on the market, with wings and everything, and wish you buena suerte. And they give you “Dear God, It’s Me, Margaret” as the holy bible of periods.

We’re brought up to believe that periods are this beautiful, magical uniquely feminine metamorphosis.

@mycallaly / Instagram

Suddenly, we’re going to start being attractive to boys (they definitely didn’t tell me about the girls #gayproblems). We were going to graduate to their level of womanhood. Pero, no.

They conveniently leave out all the painful details.

@mycallaly / Instagram

My own mother has endometriosis, a painful condition that causes your uterine lining to grow outside the uterus, thickening over time and causing pain and infertility. Nobody knows exactly what causes it, except that if your mom has it, you’re more likely to have it.

So I had no idea that my period cramps would be so painful, I’d be sent home from school on the regular.

@mycallaly / Instagram

I took twice as many pain killers as prescribed and it didn’t help. My teachers would see me silently sweating at my desk, pale as a ghost, and send me home, just about every month. In a way, I appreciate that my mom held onto hope and didn’t want to scare me before my first period.

My mom also forbade me to go into the ocean on my period so the sharks wouldn’t get me.

@mylenacup / Instagram

En serio. “Se pueden oler la sangre.” Nope. There are so many superstitions about not going outside when it’s raining, drinking cold water, or being in the water, because it stops your period. NEVER, EVER, TRY TO STOP YOUR PERIOD, MIJA.

When I was 15, I asked my mom if I could ‘try’ tampons.

@Cosmopolitan / Twitter

I was already borrowing them from my friends at school because those super pads my mom bought me were embarrassing as eff to wear. She looked at me like I was the Whore of Babylon. “Para que? So you can lose your virginity to a piece of cotton?!” She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day.

Maybe sharing this female experience has some rosy solidarity around it, but vamos a decirle la verdad.

@mycallaly / Instagram

It’s a total sh*t show. The reality is that you’ll probably have menstrual cramps, back pain, your breasts will be super tender, you might get headaches, and you’ll be extra tired and hungry from all that extra energy you’re expending. It helps to have some products that will actually make your life easier, instead of bulkier.

1. Fearless Necklace | $85

@corawomen / Instagram

You WILL want to you tampons, and they won’t take away your virginity. Also, in 2019, we’re done stuffing tampons up our sleeves as we sneak to the bathroom. Literally, half the population has periods. It’s no secret.

This necklace holds that emergency tampon right around your neck. Plus, everyone purchased gifts a year’s supply of pads to a girl sponsored by ZanaAfrica.

2. D Reusable Tampon Applicator | $24

@DAMEforgood / Instagram

If you’re already on your tampon game, but like using the plastic applicator, DAME is here to make periods comfortable and sustainable. The whole product is made of an antimicrobial material so it’s self-cleaning. You just have to wipe it with a paper towel or rinse it off and you’re solid. Save money and thousands of pieces of plastic in our landfills with DAME.

3. Tampliner | $6

@mycallaly / Instagram

If the idea of reusable menstrual products isn’t your thing, then gynecologist Alex Hooi’s Tampliner might be for you. Instead of a plastic applicator, it uses organic biodegradable cotton that doubles as a liner. That way you don’t have to choose between ruining your underwear or carrying liners and tampons with you everywhere. Son los dos.

4. Period Undies | $35

CuteFruitUndies / Etsy

Do you feel extra angry with the world when you’re on your period? Use Trump’s face as a blood dumpster while these period underwear soak up a bit of your period (and need for justice). You can choose other politicians that are working to limit women’s reproductive rights and trust that $3 of every sale goes to Planned Parenthood. Win-win.

5. THINX Period Underwear | $30

@shethinx / Instagram

Each pair holds 1-2 tampons worth of blood depending on the style (boy shorts, thongs, even gym shorts, and leotards are available!). THINX was the first to think of an alternative to having a plastic pad in your pants. One reviewer on THINX says it all, “And yes all the other reviews are right, once you get these you’ll say “why didn’t I get these sooner?!”

There you have it. If you don’t want to bleed on people’s faces, these are for you.

6. Reusable Pads | $12

@lunapads / Instagram

These are FAR more comfortable than the diapers your mom first gave you. First, they’re made of organic cotton, so they feel like you’re just wearing underwear. Second, you won’t have to spend mad money every month on period products. This set can be reused for years to come.

7. Menstrual Cup | $25

@mylenacup / Instagram

Let’s talk menstrual cups. Yes, they are bigger than tampons, but no, you won’t lose whatever patriarchal concept of ‘virginity’ that your mom is so worried about. They’re made of 100% silicone, so that means that no chemicals or chance of Toxic Shock Syndrome will affect you.

I’ve been using these for the last 5+ years and am never going back. Depending on your flow, you only have to empty these every 12 hours. There’s no tampon string to accidentally pee on. Just boil them between periods for a few minutes and they’re sanitized and ready to go.

8. FLEX | $15

@flex / Instagram

So, I’ve never used this before but reviewers rave. This menstrual cup is not reusable, but it allows for sex on your period, which, of course, most Latina mothers would not condone. We do though. ; )

This one sits higher up in your vaginal canal (where a diaphragm might go), and it claims that it reduces cramps for up to 60% of users! That said, it is a much more expensive period to have since you can only use the disc (which holds up to 3 super tampons worth of blood) once.

9. Menstrual Tracker | $139

@bellabeat / Instagram

So this is basically a fitbit for periods. It somehow is able to track your period, days of fertility, and will notify you on the app for when your next period is coming! That means you don’t have to play guesswork on which underwear to wear that day. It also tracks everything else that FitBit does.

In case your mami never told you, the wonders of womanhood include PMS.

@ElSangito / Twitter

She probably didn’t warn you, but as soon as you get your period, any feeling you have will be blamed on PMS. It’s the most infuriating thing, pero no te preocupes. All your feelings are valid, and yes, sometimes they’re not right size because of all the crazy hormones your body is unleashing on you (y el mundo).

10. The PMS Package | $34.99

@thepmspackage / Instagram

And so, we offer you the PMS Package. The company promises to deliver you a package full of chocolate, bath bombs, tampax, and heat pads exactly when your PMS promises to hit you hardest. Next time you’re telling your mom about how you feel and she’s like, “bueno, have some chocolate then y ya,” you can tell her you already did y “que más se puede decirme?”

No matter what products you end up using to make your period more liveable, recuerde, there’s no shame in the game.

@ifthehoefits / Twitter

If someone is having shame around their period or yours, that’s their problem, not yours. Let’s raise the next generation to be clear about what their needs are and proud to get them met.

Tell us your period stories!

@eminescent / Twitter

What products do you like to use? How did your mami impart her womanly wisdom on you? How will you tell your mijas? Tweet us @fiercebymitu with your stories hoy.

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