Dale, we’re going to have the period talk. And not the one that your mother never gave you. Vamos a hablar en all the ridiculous superstitions and period stigmas de nuestras mamis and how it’s affected us growing up. I’ll start. Beginning at age eight or nine, my mom and tías suddenly got a magical glint in their eye telling me que ‘any day now, you’ll get your period and become a woman and get your own tetas.’ K.
That’s it. That’s all the info I got until the day I got my period, with years of buildup, and then the true horror of it all sunk in. This isn’t just one magical glow-up day, like in the Sims? I just feel like mierda for five days and then it happens *cada mes* until I’m una viejita?!
To top it off, talking about the nitty gritty details of what to do on your period was taboo.
@tigerjean95 / Twitter
They just give you the fattest pads on the market, with wings and everything, and wish you buena suerte. And they give you “Dear God, It’s Me, Margaret” as the holy bible of periods.
We’re brought up to believe that periods are this beautiful, magical uniquely feminine metamorphosis.
@mycallaly / Instagram
Suddenly, we’re going to start being attractive to boys (they definitely didn’t tell me about the girls #gayproblems). We were going to graduate to their level of womanhood. Pero, no.
They conveniently leave out all the painful details.
@mycallaly / Instagram
My own mother has endometriosis, a painful condition that causes your uterine lining to grow outside the uterus, thickening over time and causing pain and infertility. Nobody knows exactly what causes it, except that if your mom has it, you’re more likely to have it.
So I had no idea that my period cramps would be so painful, I’d be sent home from school on the regular.
@mycallaly / Instagram
I took twice as many pain killers as prescribed and it didn’t help. My teachers would see me silently sweating at my desk, pale as a ghost, and send me home, just about every month. In a way, I appreciate that my mom held onto hope and didn’t want to scare me before my first period.
My mom also forbade me to go into the ocean on my period so the sharks wouldn’t get me.
@mylenacup / Instagram
En serio. “Se pueden oler la sangre.” Nope. There are so many superstitions about not going outside when it’s raining, drinking cold water, or being in the water, because it stops your period. NEVER, EVER, TRY TO STOP YOUR PERIOD, MIJA.
When I was 15, I asked my mom if I could ‘try’ tampons.
@Cosmopolitan / Twitter
I was already borrowing them from my friends at school because those super pads my mom bought me were embarrassing as eff to wear. She looked at me like I was the Whore of Babylon. “Para que? So you can lose your virginity to a piece of cotton?!” She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day.
Maybe sharing this female experience has some rosy solidarity around it, but vamos a decirle la verdad.
@mycallaly / Instagram
It’s a total sh*t show. The reality is that you’ll probably have menstrual cramps, back pain, your breasts will be super tender, you might get headaches, and you’ll be extra tired and hungry from all that extra energy you’re expending. It helps to have some products that will actually make your life easier, instead of bulkier.
1. Fearless Necklace | $85
@corawomen / Instagram
You WILL want to you tampons, and they won’t take away your virginity. Also, in 2019, we’re done stuffing tampons up our sleeves as we sneak to the bathroom. Literally, half the population has periods. It’s no secret.
This necklace holds that emergency tampon right around your neck. Plus, everyone purchased gifts a year’s supply of pads to a girl sponsored by ZanaAfrica.
2. D Reusable Tampon Applicator | $24
@DAMEforgood / Instagram
If you’re already on your tampon game, but like using the plastic applicator, DAME is here to make periods comfortable and sustainable. The whole product is made of an antimicrobial material so it’s self-cleaning. You just have to wipe it with a paper towel or rinse it off and you’re solid. Save money and thousands of pieces of plastic in our landfills with DAME.
3. Tampliner | $6
@mycallaly / Instagram
If the idea of reusable menstrual products isn’t your thing, then gynecologist Alex Hooi’s Tampliner might be for you. Instead of a plastic applicator, it uses organic biodegradable cotton that doubles as a liner. That way you don’t have to choose between ruining your underwear or carrying liners and tampons with you everywhere. Son los dos.
4. Period Undies | $35
CuteFruitUndies / Etsy
Do you feel extra angry with the world when you’re on your period? Use Trump’s face as a blood dumpster while these period underwear soak up a bit of your period (and need for justice). You can choose other politicians that are working to limit women’s reproductive rights and trust that $3 of every sale goes to Planned Parenthood. Win-win.
5. THINX Period Underwear | $30
@shethinx / Instagram
Each pair holds 1-2 tampons worth of blood depending on the style (boy shorts, thongs, even gym shorts, and leotards are available!). THINX was the first to think of an alternative to having a plastic pad in your pants. One reviewer on THINX says it all, “And yes all the other reviews are right, once you get these you’ll say “why didn’t I get these sooner?!”
There you have it. If you don’t want to bleed on people’s faces, these are for you.
6. Reusable Pads | $12
@lunapads / Instagram
These are FAR more comfortable than the diapers your mom first gave you. First, they’re made of organic cotton, so they feel like you’re just wearing underwear. Second, you won’t have to spend mad money every month on period products. This set can be reused for years to come.
7. Menstrual Cup | $25
@mylenacup / Instagram
Let’s talk menstrual cups. Yes, they are bigger than tampons, but no, you won’t lose whatever patriarchal concept of ‘virginity’ that your mom is so worried about. They’re made of 100% silicone, so that means that no chemicals or chance of Toxic Shock Syndrome will affect you.
I’ve been using these for the last 5+ years and am never going back. Depending on your flow, you only have to empty these every 12 hours. There’s no tampon string to accidentally pee on. Just boil them between periods for a few minutes and they’re sanitized and ready to go.
8. FLEX | $15
@flex / Instagram
So, I’ve never used this before but reviewers rave. This menstrual cup is not reusable, but it allows for sex on your period, which, of course, most Latina mothers would not condone. We do though. ; )
This one sits higher up in your vaginal canal (where a diaphragm might go), and it claims that it reduces cramps for up to 60% of users! That said, it is a much more expensive period to have since you can only use the disc (which holds up to 3 super tampons worth of blood) once.
9. Menstrual Tracker | $139
@bellabeat / Instagram
So this is basically a fitbit for periods. It somehow is able to track your period, days of fertility, and will notify you on the app for when your next period is coming! That means you don’t have to play guesswork on which underwear to wear that day. It also tracks everything else that FitBit does.
In case your mami never told you, the wonders of womanhood include PMS.
@ElSangito / Twitter
She probably didn’t warn you, but as soon as you get your period, any feeling you have will be blamed on PMS. It’s the most infuriating thing, pero no te preocupes. All your feelings are valid, and yes, sometimes they’re not right size because of all the crazy hormones your body is unleashing on you (y el mundo).
10. The PMS Package | $34.99
@thepmspackage / Instagram
And so, we offer you the PMS Package. The company promises to deliver you a package full of chocolate, bath bombs, tampax, and heat pads exactly when your PMS promises to hit you hardest. Next time you’re telling your mom about how you feel and she’s like, “bueno, have some chocolate then y ya,” you can tell her you already did y “que más se puede decirme?”
No matter what products you end up using to make your period more liveable, recuerde, there’s no shame in the game.
@ifthehoefits / Twitter
If someone is having shame around their period or yours, that’s their problem, not yours. Let’s raise the next generation to be clear about what their needs are and proud to get them met.
Tell us your period stories!
@eminescent / Twitter
What products do you like to use? How did your mami impart her womanly wisdom on you? How will you tell your mijas? Tweet us @fiercebymitu with your stories hoy.
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