The INFP is known as the “Mediator” according to the Meyers-Briggs personality test. Mainly known as idealists, dreamers, and introverts, they only make up 4% of the population. If you’re dating this rare personality type, the chances are high (96%, in fact) that you don’t think the same way!

Getting to know this unique person will take some time, but still waters run deep. As you go further into your relationship, you’ll find a wealth of amazing characteristics in your INFP partner. Here are 20 things to know about the INFP you’re dating!

#1: They’re Introverts

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This may seem basic, but the “I” part of INFP stands for Introvert. This means that your partner needs to recharge on her own. Introverts often feel drained after hours of socializing and crave a night alone with a book or a good Netflix binge. Don’t be offended if they don’t pick up a call or two or simply prefer to text. This doesn’t mean they don’t care, but they are at their best after they have recharged alone.

#2: They’re Creative

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INFPs are natural artists and see the beauty in everything. Great date ideas would be paint nights, trips to an art museum, or a simple pleasant stroll in the park. A night with live music is also sure to please as you move on from one artful adventure to the next. Also, be sure to let your partner explore his creative side, giving him plenty of time and space to unleash his ideas onto whatever hobby he has chosen. This contributes to an INFP’s feeling of fulfillment. Many famous artists are INFPs such as Vincent Van Gogh, Shakespeare, J. R. R. Tolkien, Edgar Allen Poe, and Johnny Depp.    

#3: They Prefer to Have an Inner Circle

@TaraMoss / Pinterest, pinned from  Hellogiggles.com

INFPs are selective with who makes it into their inner circle. When you become part of their trusted few, you gain a loyal partner for life. Part of the introvert package is that INFPs are slow to get to know but blossom when they gain your trust.  Consider them an introvert by default but a part-time extrovert when the occasion arises.

#4: They’re Excellent Listeners

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INFPs aren’t deep introverts, which makes them good listeners. They have a knack for understanding people because they can take in all the details and be empathetic to their side. If you’re dating an INFP, you don’t just have a considerate lover; but you also have an excellent confidante.

#5: They’re Great Communicators

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Unlike deep introverts who may not like a conversation all too often, INFPs know how to communicate well. They can easily enable others to understand their situation through metaphors and descriptions that the other party can relate to. Their communication style is linked with the creative side that enables them to connect the situation to images and feelings.

#6: They Can Get Lost in Thought

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If you find your beloved INFP lost in thought, this is completely normal. They enjoy their imagination and deep thoughts and can often daydream. Understand that your partner is in his own world at the moment, but he will return momentarily after being recharged from his own quiet reflections.

#7: They Have a Good Sense of Intuition

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INFPs are known for their constant pursuit of truth, which means they make a database of past situations and the lessons they learned from them. This results in a rich intuition about people and life situations. As a result, their ultimate goals often become directed by their intuition.

#8: They’ll Do anything to Avoid a fight

An INFP doesn’t like conflict and will go at lengths to avoid direct conflict. If you manage to get them in a situation where they have to talk, they will focus on how the situation has made them felt–right and wrong are not the main focus in their mind. This may seem puzzling to a more objective personality type, but to the INFP, feelings are facts.

#9: They Are Natural Mediators

Movie still from mediation scene, “Wedding Crashers”

Because INFPs belong to the diplomat personality group, they are well-connected with their own feelings. Because of this, they can sense the feelings of others and can understand the conflict from another person’s perspective. Combine this with their sincere desire to help others and strong sense of compassion, and you have an excellent mediator on hand.

#10: They go with the flow… unless you rock the boat!

You may be surprised when the laid-back person you know suddenly becomes passionate about a cause. If you end up violating one of their core values, they will defend them with all they have. Though INFPs aren’t normally extremely detail-oriented, they will complete every cause and project to satisfaction and with incredible detail.

#11. They Ignore the Mundane

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Don’t be surprised if your partner wears the same shoes for days or leaves some things untidy around the house. They are by nature unaware of the details that seem mundane or ordinary. Laundry can go for days and dishes may sit in the sink while other creative pursuits are always done to completion.

#12: They Naturally Avoid Impersonal Analysis

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INFPs are nearly always viewing life through the lens of their feelings. Impersonal judgments are difficult to make when it comes to their life. Though they are great empaths, they won’t be able to see beyond their feelings in the heat of an intense argument. The best way to compromise with an INFP is to take some time to cool down so that emotions aren’t running the show.

#13: They’re Perfectionists

petits_pieds_illustration / Instagram Copyright Yoohyemin “The Barber”

INFPs may come off as loners or even snobbish for their high level of perfectionism. However, these impressions don’t reflect the truth. In fact, they want everything that they put their heart into to run off without a hitch. If your partner is dedicated to a project at work or for a hobby, let their inspiration run its course.

#14: They Can Be Hard on Themselves

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Because they are perfectionists, they can have a difficult time forgiving themselves for past actions. An INFP is going to be their own greatest critic. What you can do to help your partner cheer up is to validate their accomplishments and positive aspects. It’s also important to give them space to work out their feelings.

#15: They Are Usually Great Writers

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Though they may be awkward in person verbally, they are great on paper. You may be surprised that the essay or short story is from your partner because they are vastly different from the way he talks in person. Their great imagination and perfectionism level also is conducive to make a great writer. C.S. Lewis is an example of one talented INFP writer.

#16: They Are Often Reserved… at First

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When you first meet an INFP that you’re interested in, you may wonder why she is so shy or quiet. This, however, is not to be taken at face value. INFPs are naturally reserved and keep their life private from people they don’t know well. They are energized by their own imagination and often keep their thoughts to themselves. However, as you get to know them, you’ll find out more about their inner world.

#17: They See the Best in People

INFPs may come off as optimistic and even naive to different personality types, as they are idealists. They always try to see the best in people and to view the world from a positive perspective. This is good news for building your relationship as they will always see the good in the people they love, including you!

#18: They Have an Inner Flame

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If you like surprises and hidden excitement, you will love your INFP’s inner flame. They may seem quiet at first, but you’ll soon see that your partner is passionate and can be quite a firecracker. When they are fired up about a cause or in the heat of the moment with you, life gets pretty exciting!

#19: Decisions Are Based On…

Movie Still from “the Matrix”

INFPs want to make honorable decisions based on purity, not for what they are going to gain. Bribery or punishments aren’t strong motivators for INFPs, who won’t be party to a dishonest situation. You can trust your INFP to be guided by their strong inner moral compass to always be pure and honest towards the people around them.

#20: They Prefer to Work Alone

Movie still from “Casino Royale”

The lone hero James Bond may be an INFP as he always prefers to work alone. Group projects to INFPs mean uncontrolled elements and unchecked standards.  So, if you are finding that your INFP wants to do some important tasks alone, let them be. It’s not anything about you, but it’s just the way they prefer to operate.

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