As a Latina who doesn’t speak Spanish fluently, I am constantly disappointing people I meet. They either want me to play translator, or they’re looking for an opportunity to show off their own Spanish skills. In both scenarios, I have to break the sad news: My Spanish is clunky at best and nonexistent at worst. It is completely undisciplined — it comes and goes as it pleases. While I can understand Spanish quite well, speaking it is a totally different (and much more stress-inducing) experience. Here’s a sample of what goes through my head when someone approaches me and starts speaking Spanish.