It’s 2017 And Asexual Latinas Still Hear These Ignorant Comments

We all know the myth: Latinas are ultrasexy women who can get pregnant just by staring at a man. While most people know that the latter is not actually possible, they still believe that our perceived hypersexuality is inherent. It’s not, and stereotypes like this one are actually really damaging to asexual Latinas.

Asexuality is a sexual orientation that describes people who do not experience sexual attraction. There are variations. For instance, some asexuals are repulsed by sex, others just don’t have any interest in sexual intimacy and some experience sexual desire in only very specific circumstances. Unlike celibacy or abstinence, which are choices, asexuality is innate – it’s a part of who a person is. That’s why the tired myth that Latinas are excessively sensual and always aroused is so frustrating and harmful. It literally contradicts an asexual Latinas’ full identities. It’s saying, “I, preserver of racial, ethnic and sexist stereotypes, know you more than you know yourself,” and that’s insulting.

Here are some of the most horrible things Latinas are often told about their sexual orientation. If you don’t want to be a hurtful and offensive human being (and we hope you don’t!), here are some comments you shouldn’t be making to asexual Latinas.

1. You’re not a real Latina.

Glee / Fox

The essence of a Latina doesn’t lie in her sexuality. I’m a woman who comes, or whose family originates, from a Latin American or Spanish Caribbean country. That’s what makes me Latina, not your racialized sexist stereotypes about what I do, or don’t do, in my bed.

2. What a waste!

Love And Hip Hop / VH1

How does my being asexual make me a waste? My value doesn’t come from my genitals but from my character — my mental and moral qualities.

3. So why are you dressed like that?

American Idol / Fox

If you can be a shitty person without wearing actual excrement on your head, I can show as much or as little skin and still be asexual.

4. But how are you supposed to have that big Latino family?

American Idol / Fox

First, not all Latinos have five-plus children. Second, not all Latinas want to be mothers. Third, if I wanted to have a baby, I can adopt, get in-vitro fertilization or use more traditional methods — just because I don’t have an interest in sex doesn’t mean I’ve lost my reproductive abilities. Fourth, none of this is your business.

5. Stop being so full of yourself. You’re not even that bad.

OITNB / Netflix

Say what?! I’m not “conceited” or “gassed” and I don’t have a “stick up my butt” because I turned down your sexual advances, but you are for thinking that anyone you spit game to will get busy with you. Also, I am that bad. Quit it.

6. You just haven’t found the right person to settle down with.

Becky G México / Youtube

Why would you think that? There are many asexual people who have wonderful romantic relationships with other asexual and even sexual people. There are also aromantic asexuals, who don’t have any interest in marriage or partners like this at all.

7. Challenge accepted.


I’m not a dare or a contest. You can’t “turn me out,” and thinking you can is dangerous. Corrective rape — raping to “cure” someone of their sexual orientation — is a reality for many people who come out as asexual. What you erroneously perceive as a “challenge” sounds like a threat to me.

Read: 11 Latina Sexpectations The World Expects Us To Live Up To 

Are you an asexual Latina? Let us know some of the worst things you’ve heard about your sexual orientation in the comments!

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Let Us Recognize How Bad Bunny Is Celebrating Gender Fluidity And Self-Acceptance In All Of His Trapness


Let Us Recognize How Bad Bunny Is Celebrating Gender Fluidity And Self-Acceptance In All Of His Trapness

The poster boy of Latin Trap Bad Bunny is also the biggest mainstream rebel against the genre’s hypermasculinity. With his flamboyant, floral button-downs, cat-eye glasses and vibrant nail art, he’s reshaping society’s, and the urbano music industry’s, outdated gender rules. With his self-love messages to women, encouraging them to cut off lovers who have problems with their body hair or pants size, he’s calling out machismo and helping to weaken its power. While steadily rising up the charts with hard-thumping Spanish-language bangers on sex, drugs and street toughness, El Conejo Malo, born Benito Antonio Martínez Ocasio, has also consistently used his platform and art to challenge misogyny and embrace femininity.

credit: instagram @badbunnypr

In his long-anticipated debut album X100PRE, which he unexpectedly released on Nochebuena 2018, the 24-year-old Puerto Rican singer-rapper continues to defy toxic masculinity. The 15-track fire LP includes trap, reggaeton and even pop-punk jams that encourage people to embrace themselves as they are. The four music videos that Bad Bunny has released from the album also spotlight critical intersectional feminist issues, from gender violence to gender nonconformity. The project, a musical treat that combines Bad Bunny’s lyrical aptitude with Tainy’s, the veteran urbano producer behind most of the album, commanding beats, also bears gifts for people who have a just, equitable and liberated vision for the world.

Here, five ways trapero Bad Bunny challenges machismo on X100PRE.

1. Celebrating Gender Fluidity And Self-Acceptance

In El Conjeo Malo’s latest single “Caro,” the supermarket bagger-turned-millionaire rapper recognizes his self-worth, acknowledging the value in his talent and character regardless of the amount of bread stacked in his bank account. “Yo sé cuanto valgo / yo sé que soy caro,” he raps. The music video pushes this idea of self-acceptance further, with Bad Bunny kissing himself — actually smooching look-alike Puerto Rican model Jazmyne Joy — to express that self-love. But the video also celebrates gender fluidity, opening up with a scene of Bunny in a white-and-pink room getting his nails painted before the camera jumps to Joy, a female-identifying actress who dresses up as the rapper throughout the video. During Ricky Martin’s hidden interlude in the song, Bunny is even kissed on the cheek by both a woman and a man, an additional jab to the genre’s long-rooted homophobia.

2. Spotlighting Gender Violence 

“Solo de Mí” is a solemn ballad about survivors of intimate partner violence reclaiming their identity and learning to love themselves after leaving an abusive relationship. “Yo no soy tuyo ni de nadie, yo soy sólo de mí,” Benito sings. The music video uses powerful imagery to send his message against gender violence forward, including showing a woman lip-syncing his lyrics while suffering invisible hits to her face. When Bad Bunny debut the song on Instagram, he was explicit about its message, writing: “NO QUEREMOS NI UNA MUERTE MAS! Respeta la mujer, respeta al hombre, respeta al prójimo, respeta la vida! MENOS VIOLENCIA, MAS PERREO! (Y SI ELLA LO QUIERE, SI NO DÉJALA QUE PERREE SOLA Y NO LA JODAS).”

3. Resisting Hypermasculine Sexual Fantasies

In the ‘80s synth-pop track “Otra Noche en Miami,” Bad Bunny opens up about the less-glamorous parts of his rapid rise to fame, expressing feelings of melancholy over the fake and harmful interests of the growing crowd around him, from industry execs to groupies. He even raps that he’s tired of threesomes and orgies, sexual fantasies that many traperos brag about, and prefers real love instead. “Ya me cansan los threesome’ y las orgías / Ya me cansa que mi vida siga vacía,” he raps, breaking free from hypersexualized stereotypes of men, especially Caribbean Latinx men.

4. Getting Sentimental

The singer-rapper gets even more sentimental in “Si Estuviésemos Juntos.” Throughout the reggaeton ballad, El Conejo Malo bares his soul to an ex lover, telling her, and the world, that he still misses and longs for her, that he still wonders what could have been if he would have gotten his act together sooner. “A otra persona no he podido amar / Y te juro que lo he tratado / Pero es que ninguna se te para al la’o / Desde que te fuiste sigo trastorna’o / Escuchando Masterpiece, baby me siento down.” In an increasingly eff-your-ex, live-your-best-life-heartless youth culture, vulnerability in music is becoming rare, especially for men in hip-hop, but Bad Bunny doesn’t shy away from showing his emotions.

5. Taking Care Of Your Mental Health, Bromances And Your Nails

Bad Bunny’s first single off of X100PRE “Estamos Bien” is many things. In Puerto Rico, it’s a statement of resiliency, a message to Washington that the people of La Isla del Encanto are good despite shoddy recovery efforts after Hurricane Maria, because survival, community and joy run through their veins. But before the devastating storm hit the island, this was a song about Benito’s own individual perseverance; more specifically, overcoming depression that followed his meteoric stardom. Bad Bunny, who has talked about his mental health struggle — uncommon among men in Latinx countries — through his music and in interviews, found healing after returning home, to his family and his lifelong friends. The music video is all about self-care, including manicures and spending time with your best pals, and offers an unapologetic display of a loving bromance between Bad Bunny and his best homeboys.

Read: 7 Crucial Lessons On Self-Love, As Taught By Body Positive Trapero Bad Bunny

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These Salvadoreñas Prove Why Donald Trump’s Remarks About Immigrants And MS-13 Are All Wrong


These Salvadoreñas Prove Why Donald Trump’s Remarks About Immigrants And MS-13 Are All Wrong

During President Donald Trump’s first State of the Union address, the commander-in-chief commenced his spiel on immigration — the central issue of his speech — by likening undocumented immigrants to members of MS-13, a notorious gang formed by Salvadorans in Los Angeles but now has presence throughout the country and world.

Trump introduced the controversial subject by sharing an anecdote about two teenage girls who were killed two years ago in Long Island, New York by members of the gang.

“Two precious girls were brutally murdered while walking together in their hometown,” he said, as the late teens’ parents wailed in the background. “Six members of the savage gang MS-13 have been charged with Kayla and Nisa’s murders. Many of these gang members took advantage of glaring loopholes in our laws to enter the country as unaccompanied alien minors — and wound up in Kayla and Nisa’s high school.”

Using the violence of a gang that was formed in the U.S. and that experts do not believe is predominately made up of immigrants, Trump drove the myth of the dangerous brown foreigner further and employed it to demand Congress to pass harsher immigration laws.

“Tonight, I am calling on the Congress to finally close the deadly loopholes that have allowed MS-13, and other criminals, to break into our country. We have proposed new legislation that will fix our immigration laws, and support our ICE and Border Patrol Agents, so that this cannot ever happen again,” he said.

Those demands: creating a $25 billion trust for a wall along the U.S.-Mexico border, ending the visa lottery in favor of a merit-based immigration system, limiting family reunification and creating a path to citizenship for Dreamers, the DACA-recipients he removed protections from in September.

Using immigrants as a scapegoat to tackle gang violence is off-target and messed up. Immigrants, Latinos and Salvadorans, who received the bulk of Trump’s attacks last night, are so much more than gang members. They’re community leaders, educators, artists, business owners and, most importantly, humans who are deserving of respect, safety, liberty, opportunity and joy.

To help shatter the stereotype of the threatening Salvadoran gangbanger that Trump perpetuated to millions of Americans watching his State of the Union speech last night, here are the real faces and lives of salvadoreñas.

1. Jennifer Ramos, Business Owner

At 24 years old, Salvadoran-American Jennifer Ramos is the owner of a construction company that is on pace to yielding $1 million in revenue this year. The Alexandria, Virginia-based Latina opened Jen Contracting in 2015 after her father, an immigrant from El Salvador, lost his job. Today, with a team of 20 people, her business provides subcontracting, interior construction work and commercial services to the DMV area.

2. Yesika Salgado, Poet

Fat. Fly. Unbothered. ?: @ruthintruthvisuals

A post shared by Yesika Salgado (@yesikastarr) on

Yesika Salgado is one of the most celebrated poets of her generation. Writing often about love, family, culture, the body and her motherland, the Los Angeles-based salvadoreña published her first book of poetry, “Corazón,” through NOT A CULT in October. Since then, it has sold about 5,000 copies and has made Amazon’s best-seller lists, including Hispanic American poetry titles, where she reached No. 1, and women’s poetry titles.

3. Hala Ayala, Politician

Hala Ayala made history last year when she, alongside Elizabeth Guzman, became the first Latina elected to the Virginia House of Delegates. The Alexandria-born Democrat, who represents much of Prince William County, is the daughter of an immigrant father from El Salvador. Ayala, who helped organize the Women’s March on Washington in 2017, was a cyber security specialist before entering the political arena.

4. Johanna Toruño, Artist

Johanna Toruño is a New York-based artist-activist. In 2016, the Salvadoran-born and Virginia-raised queer Latina started the Unapologetically Brown Series, a street art project that sends love letters to women of color throughout the city. Her art, which places powerful messages of love and resilience over beautiful floral compositions, challenges racism, xenophobia, sexism and homophobia and inspires young people of color to love themselves and their community.

5. Julieta Chiquillo, Journalist

Julieta Chiquillo is a breaking news reporter for the Dallas Morning News. Born in El Salvador, she received her journalism degree from Texas Christian University. As a reporter, Chiquillo has covered critical local news stories, like the failure of the Section 8 program in Dallas, violence against women and children and her own immigration story.

6. Vanessa Galvez, Engineer

(Photo Credit: Vanessa Galvez/LinkedIn)

Vanessa Galvez is a New York-based civil engineer. In 2016, the Queens native, who is the resident engineer for the New York City Department of Design and Construction, led the institution of 164 biowales in the Maspeth neighborhood as a beautiful way to disperse and clean storm water. Community minded, the New York University graduate first became interested in a career in engineering after learning about the Army Corps. of Engineers’ response to levee failure in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.

7. Ana P. Rodriguez, Professor

Dr. Ana Patricia Rodriguez is an associate professor at the University of Maryland, College Park, where she teaches courses in Latin American, Central American and U.S. Latina/o literatures and cultures. With a master’s degree and a doctorate in literature from the University of California, Santa Cruz, the San Francisco-raised salvadoreña is an expert in Central American culture and literature, Central American cultural production in the U.S. and transnational migration, among so much more. An author of two books, she is also the president of the Latina/o Studies Association. Outside of academia, Rodriguez serves on the advisory board of the Smithsonian Latino Gallery, Washington History, the Central American Resource Center (CARECEN) and la Casa de la cultura de El Salvador in Washington, D.C.

Read: Latinas Came Together With Women Across The Country To Protest Trump’s State Of The Union Address — And It Was Great

Share your thoughts on the president’s remarks about immigrants and MS-13 in the comments below!

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