identities

Chismosas Beware! These 9 Moments Of Chisme Are Total Triggers

1. Accidentally repeating the gossip you heard to the same person who told you.

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BFF: “I told you not to tell anyone!!”

Me: “No, girl I’m playing with you…”

???

2. Delivering chisme to another chismosa and realizing they may be a wildcard chismosa.

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“Damn, she’s too over eager for the tea, I don’t think she can keep it quiet.”

3. When the chisme is coming in hot but then your friend has the nerve to make you wait for it.

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OMG are you trying to killing me?

4. But you know that’s not half as bad as when that same friend decides to bail.

“Wow. Are we even friends anymore?”

5. Or worse, when you’ve waited for some good chisme and it’s not all its cracked up to be.

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Girl, comeback when the shit is actually good.

6. Hearing the tea being dropped by people you don’t know.

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Because if you knew the details of their lives you know it would be so much better.

7. When you’re pretending like you don’t already know the chisme in order to get more chisme, but you slip up.

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Them: “How did you know that?”

Me: “Uh… know what?”

8. When the chisme turns into a storm and you’re caught in the crossfire.

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The chismes all fun and games until it becomes about you.

9. And finally, the worst of the worst, when you’re so close but you can’t keep up with the chisme chase.

It’s like anticipating the ultimate sneeze and never getting to feel it come out.


Read: 13 Thoughts That, I’m Sorry, But Are Proof You’re Turning Into Your Mom

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Shop These 20 Christmas Gifts For Your Girlfriends All Under $25

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Shop These 20 Christmas Gifts For Your Girlfriends All Under $25

When it comes to Christmas shopping, we all wish that we could have unlimited funds and get all of our friends and family everything that they absolutely deserve. But that’s not reality. What is the reality, though, is that we love our girlfriends dearly and want to get them something this year that they will simply LOVE and that will also not make us broke. That’s where this list comes in.

Whether you’re looking for a super cute shirt or a gift perfect for your best foodie friend, here are 20 Christmas gift ideas that are perfect for all of your chicas. Why? Because they’re all under $25, of course. Budget-conscious gifts don’t have to look like they’re budget conscious, though. So we have dug through all of the best gifts in our mitú shop to come up with this list of gifts ideal for all of your besties.

1. Mujer Power Pin, $10

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If you want to let your ladies know that you think they are powerful AF, then this pin is the way to do it. Anyone would be proud to wear this and the best part is that it’s cheap enough that you can make this an extra gift.

2. Guacardo You Can Do It T-Shirt, $25

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Rosie the Riveter is a classic icon of female empowerment but you know what’s even better? Yes, Guacardo doing the “You Can Do It”. Give the gift of this shirt with pride and your girls will feel that they, too, can do it.

3. Fierce Flowers Mug, $15

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If you simply want to let your besties know that you think they’re fierce, then this mug is the one for you. Its girly flowers are the best accompaniment to the sentiment because it shows that we can all be feminine and FIERCE at the same time.

4. La Jefa Phone Case, $20

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Your friends are on their phones pretty much 24/7, right? Well, now you can remind them to text you back in a subtle way by getting this “La Jefa” phone case. This one’s especially useful for your bestie who just got the latest phone this year…

5. Frida Feminist Tote, $25

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Everyone has stuff that we have to carry around but carrying all that stuff around is made all that much more fun when you have a Frida feminist tote. She looks pretty great here and so will your friends as they happily wear this to your next brunch outing.

6. She Se Puede T-Shirt, $25

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Is there any better way to let your best friends know that they CAN do anything they want? No, definitely not. This “She Se Puede” shirt is a fantastic reminder that we Latina women are powerful and always will be.

7. Bruja Pin Set, $20

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For the brujas in your friend set, there is no better gift than this pin set. It includes three distinct pins that your fave bruja girlfriend can wear proudly on her jacket or purse. Don’t worry, it’s okay if you get one of these sets for yourself, too.

8. Frida Phone Case, $20

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You can’t get enough Frida Kahlo gifts, which is why we have to recommend this Frida phone case. Adorned in her classic style, your one friend trying to make it as an artist will especially really love this one.

9. Food Socks, $17

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For that foodie girlfriend of yours, look no further than these adorable food socks. Whether she’s into tacos, paletas, jalapeños or avocados, there’s no going wrong with this adorable set that shows off what she’s all about.

10. Mija Beanie, $25

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Some girls simply rock the beanie hat like no other and those are the friends that simply MUST have this “mija” hat. This gift would be perfect for any of your Latina friends that live in colder climates or, you know, have fantastic street style.

11. Calladitas No More T-Shirt,  $25

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How do you show off your Latina pride at the same time as you remind everyone that you are outspoken? The “calladitas no more” shirt, of course. Get this one as a gift for your bestie in one color and another one for yourself in a different color so that you can rock them together.

12. En Esta Cocina Mando Yo Apron, $25

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You are bound to have at least one friend who is the Queen of her kitchen. In order to encourage and inspire her to cook more (and invite you over, of course), gift her this awesome kitchen apron that will inspire many girls nights in.

13. La Jefa Mug, $15

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There’s that one friend you have who is climbing the corporate ladder like a boss. Or perhaps she is a boss already? Either way, she deserves a “La Jefa” mug to take to work and let everyone know what she’s about.

14. Hair Full of Chisme Pin, $10

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Don’t be surprised if ALL of your friends want this one, which shouldn’t be too difficult to do since this pin is on the cheaper side. However, the sentiment will be seriously appreciated by your besties.

15. Pupusas Taught Me That Tote, $25

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Pupusas are delicious and beautiful, and so is this tote. Not only is it funny but it’s also a sweet little encouragement and celebration of our Latinx culture. Your Salvadorean friends will really love this one, I bet.

16. Paleta Hat, $25

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Who doesn’t love paletas?! Well, now your girl who is their #1 fan can rock this shirt all year long. Whether it’s the summer and she’s downing them like she’s the thirstiest person on the planet or winter when she’s turning up the heat just so she can still have a paleta, this is her perfect gift.

17. Te Calmas o Te Calmo T-Shirt, $25

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This shirt might just be the perfect gift for your friend who is a mami or about to become one. Sure, maybe she’s not actually saying this to her kids the way her mom said it to her, but… still. It’ll make her laugh for her.

18. Cactus Socks, $17

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Sometimes, you just need a subtle showing of pride and these cactus socks are the perfect way to do it. They’re brightly colored yet subtle so, really, only your friend who rocks these will know that she’s all about the Latinx pride.

19. La Vida es Bonita Phone Case, $20

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For your girl who likes to keep things subtle but is an eternal optimist, this phone case is it. It’s a sweet reminder of all of life’s good things and, honestly, can’t you just see her light up every time she picks up her phone from now on?

20. #checkyourchichis Mug, $15

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A subtle but important reminder for breast cancer awareness but also just a cute mug, this gift is definitely one that will make your girls giggle. Just be sure not to give it to your friend who is so shy that she’ll blush just looking at this one.


Read: 5 Crucial Lessons We Learned About Fatphobia, As Taught By Chicana Body Liberation Author Virgie Tovar

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After I Went To Urgent Care My Doctor Told Me That These Chips Send People To The ER All Of The Time

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After I Went To Urgent Care My Doctor Told Me That These Chips Send People To The ER All Of The Time

Anyone who has ever snatched open one of the classic purple bag’s made up of pica hot Takis knows that they’re entering into a certain kind of uncertain territory the moment they pop the spicey chip fare into their mouths. Takis are predictable and yet slightly unpredictable. They’re going to scortch your tongue, but how much is up in the air. It’s part of the fun. Mostly because, in a way, they put your strength to the test. Can you endure the red-hot taste that will be unleashed onto your tongue by the tightly twisted chips you’ve plucked from the bag? Or are you un llanto bebé? You know, the kind that can’t stand the heat?

If I’m being honest, for me, Takis have admittedly acted as a taunting trial of my Latinidad. I’m a Cuban-American. We don’t use extreme spice or picante to pepper our foods and bring out flavor (I won’t test you all by proclaiming that our food is amazing enough without it… PERO it is), we use other amazing flavors to punch up and enrich our cuisine. Still, as members of the Latinx community, we are consistently subject to comments when others find out that we don’t die and go bananas for spicey food (Not all Latinos eat spicey food y’all! Dang!)

And yet, even despite my confidence in my personal taste and likes in flavors, every once in a while I find myself feeling slightly put off by the faces of “¡¿Qué, qué?¡”

It’s why, earlier this week when a co-worker asked if I wanted a few Takis of her own, I didn’t say “no.”

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I didn’t want to have to hear how I was any less Latino because I can’t handle the spice. (I CAN.. sometimes)

But also Takis are mad good son, so I took some.

And then, because chips definitely have addictive properties, I kept helping myself to more.

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Sidenote: I did this despite the fact that my entire mouth felt like a spate of flames had been set upon it.

It didn’t take long for me to realize that the bag I was eating up had a particularly spicey brand of Takis.

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You know you should be on high alert with a glass of water on standby when you find your Takis are dark brown and not bright red.

After I felt sufficiently full and as if my mouth couldn’t stand more of a burning…

I gulped down some water between spurts of coughs and went back to work.

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Later on in the day, I headed out of work and to my car to go home. Takis were no longer on my mind and I was no longer attempting to choke through my tears so no one would call me out for being un llanto bebé. 

But on my car ride home I realized there was something terribly wrong.

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The roof of my mouth was speckled with red dots and was a bit itchy. Earlier that week I had already gone to urgent care after I had eaten sushi and got a chopstick splinter stuck in my tonsil (yah rubbing your sticks together is really important guys). I quickly began to panic and realized that not all of the splinter had been taken out (as I had feared) and that my mouth was infected.

I texted a picture of it to my mom, for some comfort.

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She’s a doctor, I figured she’d talk me down.

LOLL.

Instead, I got the fear of God instilled in me after she yelled at me to go urgent care right !! away!! or risk death.

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She said and I quote “Alexandria! You are very sick! And you clearly have an infection that could spread to your brain and you could DIE! Go to Urgent Care this instant!”

(geez wonder where I get my anxiety from)

Things went down hill from there.

There were no urgent care centers open so so I waited all night alert of my impending death from meningitis until I could go the next day.

In the morning I hightailed it to the ONE urgent care I could find open at 8 am in Los Angeles.

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I sat nervously in my doctor’s waiting room, wondering how many days I had to live until a nurse came and called me to the back.

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After a few questions about my health and history from my doctor and an explanation of my chopstick splinter experience, he examined my mouth.

When he was done, he sat down and asked if I had “ever heard of Takis?”

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Um why yes, of course, I had. “I just had some yesterday…”

Then my doctor explained to me that irritation on the roof of mouths is fairly common for people with Takis.

Then he charged me a $50 copay and sent me on my way.

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And that folks, is the story of how I found out that those Takis did not come to play. In fact, they came for your paycheck.


Read: Every Year For Nochebuena, My Twin Brother Gets To Go Golfing While I’m Forced To Play Cinderella And Help Make The Lechon, Here’s Why

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