The Legendary Guatemalan Tale Of El Sombrerón Will Literally Spook You
Remember that guy who wouldn’t leave you alone? Maybe he sent you cute texts that you didn’t find so cute or kept trying to convince you to give him a chance when you knew that wasn’t going to happen. Well. We have a story for you about a guy named El Sombrerón, the original Dude Who Refused To Get a Clue
The Legend of El Sombrerón
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El Sombrerón is a character from Guatemalan legend who simply won’t let his lady loves turn him away, thanks to his magical silver guitar. He’s also called Tzipitio, Tzizimite, or just “the goblin,” and Mexico and Colombia also have versions of this legend. There’s even a 1950 movie that tells the story.
He has a distinctive outfit.
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So, who exactly is this creeper? El Sombrerón is a short, old-looking man dressed all in black, with a thick, shiny belt, boots that make noise when he walks, and of course, a big ol’ hat.
He loves his guitar….
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His guitar is central to his awful plots. When he plays, his victims – always women with long hair and big eyes – fall under his spell.
…and his pets.
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He always brings a few things with him: two enormous black dogs, a pack of mules, a cold breeze, and of course, the silver guitar. You know he’s out causing trouble when you see the mules tied up at some poor, unsuspecting chula’s home.
He’ll take that hair, thank you very much.
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Here’s the other thing about El Sombrerón: He’s got this weird thing for braids. Horses, dogs, people – it doesn’t matter. If it’s got long, luscious hair, he wants his hands on it. Which brings us to our dear Susana.
The Story of Susana
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Many years ago, there lived a Guatemalan woman named Susana. She had big, beautiful eyes and long hair. She lived a perfectly normal and happy life, but she was exactly El Sombrerón’s type.
Susana never saw him coming.
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Susana was sitting on her balcony one night, enjoying the sight of the full moon, when she heard a strange sound and felt a cold breeze overtake her. Little did she know, El Sombrerón tends to show up under just such a moon.
El Sombrerón was up to his usual tricks.
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So he appeared under the balcony, and he serenaded her with his guitar and gave her dirt to eat. Now, she was totally under his power, though no one knew it yet.
Susana’s parents were too late.
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Susana’s parents couldn’t hear the music, because only El Sombrerón’s victims hear his song, but it was late at night, and their daughter should have been inside anyways. So they brought her inside and locked up the house. Despite their parental concern, the damage had already been done.
El Sombrerón had Susana right where he wanted her.
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El Sombrerón kept appearing to play music for Susana, ensuring that she would never sleep again. Whenever she tried to eat anything, it became covered in dirt, and so she couldn’t eat either. All that delicious food…gone to waste, just like her.
The song’s effects began to take hold.
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Susana was wasting away, which was exactly what El Sombrerón had planned. When she finally died from the lack of sleep and food, he would steal her soul on its way to Heaven and keep her all to himself forever. He just had to wait.
The situation got worse and worse.
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For days, no one knew what to do. El Sombrerón kept showing up to sing, and her food would never be edible, no matter what anyone did. Time was running out, and Susana was fighting for her life.
But Susana’s parents had one last idea.
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Lucky for Susana, her parents weren’t bobos, and they decided to try and save their daughter from the mysterious thing that had taken hold of her. Somehow, they knew that her hair was the key.
Goodbye, luscious locks!
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Susana’s parents cut off her long hair and took it to the local church, where a priest blessed it with holy water and said some prayers over it. Maybe, they thought, this would finally break El Sombrerón’s curse.
New ‘do, new you, Susana.
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Just like that, Susana and her new hairdo were left completely alone. El Sombrerón vanished and never came back, and Susana regained her strength to live a happy life. But El Sombrerón is still out there, looking for his next long-haired lady to serenade.
What have we learned today, class?
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Listen to your parents, stay inside, and don’t talk to strange men. The story meant to promote modesty in young women, though if you ask me, it’s not poor Susana’s fault she’s so pretty.
Outdated? Not so fast…
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Are there any lessons for the modern woman in here? Maybe. You don’t have to chop off your hair to thwart would-be suitors like Susana did – thankfully, there are other ways to handle unwanted attention that will probably be more effective.
…maybe there’s a better moral to this story.
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So, the real moral of the story: Creeps are out there, but there’s always help. Rock your long locks, live your life, and if you feel able to reach out for help, never be afraid to loop in a trusted comadre to help you handle things. And always check in on how your friends are doing — you never know who might need a metaphorical haircut.
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