Women Of The Internet Are Calling Out The Sexism Of Lady Doritos

credit: @toehyndman / Twitter

To all my snack queens out there: Please raise your hand if you feel personally victimized by Doritos’ new “lady-friendly” chips.

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Yup. Same.

After completing research they claim found that women don’t like the loud crunching sound associated with eating chips, especially in public, PepsiCo, which owns the Doritos brand, began developing a Dorito that would cancel out such unladylike behavior.

Their “Lady Doritos,” as the Internet is calling them, will also be packaged for a woman’s needs and eliminate the existence of chip dust on your fingers so we she-beasts won’t lick our digits clean in public like a bunch of classless harlots.

 

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In an interview with Freakonomics Radio, PepsiCo C.E.O. Indra Nooyi broke down the decision to create the product:

…As you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom. Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.

I can’t speak for all women, but I don’t longingly watch men wreck a bag of Doritos like the Beast does a bowl of porridge and think “Gee. If only.”

No, if I feel like crunching loudly and sucking my fingers, I do. If I don’t, I don’t. And when I am in the mood to destroy some Doritos covered in Valentina, I try to be polite of others so they don’t catch any nacho cheese shrapnel. It’s basic human decency.

The bigger issue with Lady Doritos is that it reinforces sexist ideas that women should work to make themselves as invisible as possible. We should shrink ourselves, even though the opposite is expected of men. We shouldn’t make noise or take up space because it’s rude, unladylike, and unattractive. It also tells us we should be ashamed to not just eat with gusto, but to eat at all.

Even so, this idea of demure chip eating led Nooyi to create the girl-friendly Doritos, which they plan to release soon.

Though after the Internet backlash the company has received, they might change their minds.

Some looked at the bright side, considering the benefits of silent Doritos.

Others immediately began brainstorming the endless possibilities of flavors.

I have a feeling Male Tears flavored Lady Doritos will be extra salty.

There’s also some brilliant ideas of cross-brand collaboration floating around that would definitely be a hit with the female market.

I mean, if that’s not a killer two-for-one deal, especially after a shady one-night stand, then I don’t know what is.

A few people have even started writing their Lady Doritos period fan-fic.

Someone get Dame Maggie Smith on the blower. We’re gonna need her sassy British side eye.

Many like their Doritos just as they are, especially if they remind them of home.

Let’s hope the brains behind this genius idea takes a critical gender studies class and rethinks the whole thing.

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What do you think about Lady Doritos? Let us know!