I used to think that read receipts were for responsible people. You know the kind, the ones who never get called “pendeja” and always arrive to parties on time. Then, over time and after a few brief relationships, I put two and two together and realized there are people who exist in this world and use read receipts in a grab for the upper hand or to express their general detachment. Read receipt users aren’t people who got celebrated with Zero Tardy Awards and were always called “reliable.” They’re dating nightmares.
There’s a lot of communication that goes into a read receipt that doesn’t come attached with a response. Namely: “I see you’re trying to talk to me but I’m not responding. No I’m not dead like your friends said (refer to the time stamp). Hope you enjoy the rest of your day while you try chewing on THAT.”
Here are my 9 reasons in my argument that keeping your read receipts on while dating is a completely savage move.
1. Read Receipts are the petty modification of a digital timestamp.
I put my read receipt on for some people just so they know I got it , I read it , I’m not replying bye …
— Feb.14th✨ (@Jerricaaaaaa) January 23, 2018
And if you receive one of these while you’re in a relationship or dating, let me be clear: your emotions will F’d with as FFFFF.
2. Literally the internet variant of “talk to the hand Bhhh.”
And IRL their shadiness can only be equated to the bad vibes we got from hearing Al Pacino’s suss Cuban accent in “Scarface.”
3. And when it comes to dating, receipts are used for evil instead of good.
I want to make sure u KNOW I'm ignoring you… #NoGuessing #OopsMyBad #ReadReciepts #HeyBae #Ijs #RealShit #DropsMic #Beyhive #Lemonade #LifeLessons #Beyonce #Rihanna #NickiMinaj #KimKardashian #KhloeKardashian #KendallJenner #KylieJenner #Ciara #SelenaGomez #TaylorSwift #Lemonade#Relationships #RelationshipAdvice
Because everyone knows there’s a more humane way of letting others know they’ve read your message. It’s called replying.
4. Because in this game, the only person winning is the receiver.
Here, it’s all about the ask and you shall not receive.
5. Read receipts will test your will.
Try your patience.
And wear you heart down to the bone.
6. It’s a no-response response that is SUSS AF if ya ask me.
If your read reciepts ain't on, i'm assuming you being fake o wateva ?
— • (@ihtsnaynay) January 23, 2018
Because when you make the decision to tap into this tool, you’re well aware that the only reasonable response time is “ahora.”
7. And you know I’m right, because they’ve likely mentally ruined you before too.
CREDIT: @hoenest / Instagram
Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never seen a read receipt that made you want to delete the whole conversation so you wouldn’t have to think about it.
8. And even when your text is the most innocent of all time…
Just dished out what I thought was a great pun about the Keto diet to a guy I’m getting to know.
Read receipt says he got the text 10 minutes ago. No response.
You gotta be KETOing me. #reasonswhyimsingle
— Jess (@Missjbo) January 10, 2018
You will question your humanity the moment that check comes out.
9. Because part of you knows that the person who turns the receipts on for you is feeling nothing but cold-blooded for you AF.
Hit em w/ a read receipt and won’t think twice about it https://t.co/E6RPeYhYIu
— des (@justdeserei) December 29, 2017
^She knows the story.
Read receipts are nothing but the damn diablo and if you keep yours on you’re probably the spawn of Satán.