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23 Reasons Why Being Single Is *TOTALLY* Amazing

Before I met my husband, I was a proud single lady who spent many, many years being happily single. While these days I’m extremely happy in my marriage with my love, I have to tell you that my single years were *totally* amazing. Sure, there can be lonely nights and frustrating Tinder dates. But being in a relationship isn’t all sunshine and roses either. And, if I were honest, there are definitely a few things that are much easier when you’re single than when you are coupled up. Want to buy that cute new but ridiculously expensive top you saw in a store? Easy when you’re single since you don’t have to talk about the finances with anyone but yourself. Dying to go on a trip last-minute to visit your girlfriend? Just doing it when you’re single is easy, since you don’t have to worry about leaving your sweetie pie missing you.

If you’re wondering why you’re still single, then let me remind you. Here are 23 reasons why being single is totally amazing. 

1. You can take your sweet time getting ready.

jlo/Instagram

Let’s face it: Looking perfect takes some time. If you’re single, though, then that time is all your own and you don’t have to worry about being late or rushing out the door because someone else is trying to make you be ready sooner. Be late and gorgeous, and proud of it.

2. You have plenty of time to learn to love yourself.

monikavalerievaa/Instagram

Look, it’s not actually easy to learn to love yourself. Me? I’m still figuring out how to appreciate my thick thighs, and the truth is that it’s kind of up and down. But when you’re single, you have plenty of time to be with yourself and only yourself… and to work on learning to love yourself.

3. You don’t have to share your food. Oh yeah, and you can eat whatever you want.

nonstopeats/Instagram

Sometimes, all you want for dinner is a couple slices of cheese, some crackers, and chorizo. If you’re in a relationship, though, your partner might want to have a “real” meal (whatever that means). Or, even worse, he might want to share! Nuh uh, no thanks.

4. You can explore all of your options.

rubeylalia/Instagram

There’s tons of single people out there, and now you get to meet them! When you’re in a relationship, you might miss out on meeting new people. But when you’re single, the world is your oyster. 

5. You get to try new things without someone else’s judgment, like a career change.

lz_carr/Instagram

When you are in a couple, everything that you do (especially major things) have to go through the relationship. If you are thinking of making a change in your career, you have to discuss it with your partner. But if it’s just you, you’re free to try new things pretty much whenever you want.

6. You can explore your sexual boundaries.

medovaka/Instagram

Sex in a relationship is great, too, but when you’re single, you can explore what you like and who you like to do it with. At the very least, it’ll always be pretty fresh and new… which is especially great when you’re younger and still need help figuring out your body.

7. You get to reflect on your life’s choices.

davidboststunt/Instagram

Sure, reflecting on your choices might sometimes happen with your girlfriends over a much-needed cocktail, but you also need time to be alone and think. That’s much less likely to happen when you’re in a relationship, so take advantage of this while you’re single.

8. You can practice your flirting skills.

mallixo/Instagram

Meaning: You can flirt with whomever you want WITHOUT fearing that someone else will get jealous. When you’re single, you can travel to Spain and meet a hot guy to teach you to dance. You can also go to happy hour and meet a cute new guy. Nothing wrong with these options!

9. You alone are in charge of your happiness.

apexretreat/Instagram

While it’s nice that someone else is there to make you happy, it’s also kind of amazing to know that you alone are in charge of your own happiness. Why? Because it makes you the badass, independent woman you always knew you were. When it’s just up to you, the possibilities are endless.

10. You embrace your inner cat lady.

zucaskittens/Instagram

Life with cats is totally amazing. That’s all you need to know, so go ahead and embrace your inner cat lady sooner than later. Have one, have two, have 10! Okay, maybe not 10, but seriously… being a cat lady is awesome. No regrets.

11. You don’t have to shave, wax, or do anything unless it’s pleasing to YOU.

esthetiqueimpulsion/Instagram

There’s nothing wrong with shaving your legs or waxing for a partner, and there’s definitely nothing wrong with NOT doing it either. But when it’s just you, you don’t have to worry about pleasing someone else and can instead do all kinds of hair maintenance (or not!) just because you want to (or not!).

12. You can relish in your alone time and never, ever fight over what to put on Netflix tonight.

flavialaosu/Instagram

We all know that Netflix N Chill is awesome, but… what about chilling all on your own and having total control of the control remote? It’s great, too. When you are single, you can just do whatever you want with your alone time and never have to worry about starting a new show that your partner doesn’t like.

13. You get to hog the sheets all you want. Period.

kramerthewhippet/Instagram

Do I need to say more? Sleeping comfortably, in whatever position you want, with the AC turned to whatever temperature you want, with however many sheets or blankets you want, is pretty great.

14. You don’t have to hide your bodily movements.

mideskarla/Instagram

You fart. I fart. We all fart. But when you’re in a relationship, it might be kind of awkward to fart near your partner… and even MORE awkward if you sneak away to do it in another room. When you’re single, you don’t have to worry and just let your farts fly.

15. You can go to the gym whenever you want.

marta.zakrzewskaa/Instagram

One of the nice things about being single is that you are the only ruler of your time. So if you want to go to the gym on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, AND Thursday this week, then you can go ahead and do that. When you are in a relationship, you might have boyfriend commitments on those days, like his best friend’s cousin’s birthday party… and so you have to skip YOUR gym day for his stuff. Being single, though, and no worries!

16. You’ll be less stressed about money and financial decisions in general.

millionairecartel/Instagram

It’s true that one of the main things that couples fight about is money. It’s hard to save it and it’s even harder to figure out what to prioritize spending it on when two people are doing the spending. But when you’re single, financial decisions are easier because they’re just up to you. So, in turn, you’ll just be less stressed about money since you don’t have to ask anyone else how to spend yours.

17. You can enjoy ALL of the dating apps.

crowndating/Instagram

Sure, using dating apps can sometimes be a struggle… but it can be fun, too. You get to see all kinds of new people and the potential to meet new ones is awesome. Basically, you’ll be able to have fun and try tons of new things.

18. You don’t have to waste time arguing with someone.

cihome.de/Instagram

Look, relationships cause drama. There is no such thing as a drama-free relationship because being with someone else is not easy. You might love them, but there will always be something that leads to a fight, whether it’s money (see above) or something else. But when you’re single, fights are… pretty much reserved for the drama you see on TV.

19. You never have to agree to do something you don’t want to do or learn to compromise.

sarah_elizab/Instagram

When you’re in a couple, you have to compromise. Sure, learning to compromise is a good thing but sometimes that means doing something you don’t really want to do. Hanging with his buddies while they all watch the World Series? Um… maybe not. Luckily, when you’re single, you don’t have to give AF about sports or anything else that you don’t enjoy.

20. You’ll be able to sleep in, like, whenever you want.

coco.crochet.lee/Instagram

Being in a couple means waking up in the mornings for brunch and fun trips. But you can do both of these things on your own when you’re single, and you don’t have to wake up early to do so. Or even the opposite, really. If you’re a morning person, you don’t have to wait around for your partner to get up before you can do anything… Your mornings are all your own.

21. You can jump on a plane at a moment’s notice.

isabell.boettger/Instagram

Want to meet up with your friend in Minneapolis? You can do it! Did your parents invite you to their Florida vacation house? You can do that too! Feel like hopping on a place for a long weekend in Barcelona? Well, go ahead! When you are single, you can travel pretty much worry-free.

22. You don’t have to visit someone else’s crappy relatives over the holidays.

greyjupiter/Instagram

You love your family, right? Well, even so, you might still find it stressful to have those huge get togethers during the holidays. But the issue with not being single is that you have to add someone else’s stressful family visits to your holiday plans too. Talk about a busy holiday season…

23. You can build a tight, close-knit group of friends.

haengercrew/Instagram

Being in a couple means that you are building a loving, close-knit relationship. But when you are single, you can build strong friendships without worry. It’s difficult to see all of your friends when you’re in a relationship and, understandably, some relationships might even fall by the wayside. But when you’re single, your friends and family are your world and you can devote as much time to them as you want — and that’s a pretty awesome thing.


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ANTM’s Eva Marcille Bravely Comes Forward With Her Story Of Having Hide In ‘Multiple Places’ To Evade Her Abusive Ex-Boyfriend

fierce

ANTM’s Eva Marcille Bravely Comes Forward With Her Story Of Having Hide In ‘Multiple Places’ To Evade Her Abusive Ex-Boyfriend

Shade is often thrown around on any given episode of the Real Housewives franchises. Gossip is what makes the reality show interesting. Sometimes, however, when lies spread, the truth that is ultimately revealed can be hurtful and speak more about reality than what was intended.

On last night’s episode of “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” one of the women, Marlo, tried to come for a castmate to poke fun at her financial woes. The shade turned out to expose longtime abuse.

Eva Marcille revealed on RHOA that the reason she has been moving from house to house isn’t that she’s lacking money but rather scared for her safety.

Twitter/@atlantainformer

“I still feel a sense of threat,” Marcille told her castmates on last night’s episode. “I have had to move five times, and I still feel a sense of uneasiness. He’s just so petty sometimes. I’ve walked outside of my balcony before, and he’s been standing in the dark. And it is the scariest feeling ever.”

Marcille is an American actress and former winner of the third cycle of America’s Next Top Model who is of Puerto Rican descent.

Marcille alleged that she has a restraining order against her ex-boyfriend, Kevin McCall due to stalking and domestic abuse.

The couple, who share a daughter together (though she refers to him as a “donor”), separated in 2015. She has since gone on to marry Atlanta lawyer Micheal T. Sterling; they too share a child.

Marcille dispelled gossip that she and Sterling have frequently moved around because of financial troubles.

Instagram/@omfgrealitytv

“Every time I move, he finds me,” Marcille said on the episode. “Because of that, I live in multiple places. Safety is a priority for me.”

Sterling took to social media to support his wife by saying “Everything we got, we earned the hard way. And every day that I wake up, I work for legacy, not labels. Motivational use only.”

Marcille told the women that a former friend, who she had a falling out with, began spreading lies about her. “The lies are real gross, and the hate is beyond,” she said on Instagram.

Her alleged abuser, who’s had a history of erratic behavior at least on social media, said Marcille is just using the claims against him as a fake storyline.

“It’s sad when she gotta keep using my name for her storyline if I was the husband I would be like “Real hoe of Atlanta is you out your mind, or is you still obsessed with your child’s Father? Why is he in our storyline so much ain’t I enuff headline for our relationship?” McCall said on Twitter.

Marlo also said on last night’s episode that Marcille was using old claims to back up her current financial situation.

Last year on “The Wendy Williams Show,” Marcille said that McCall has never been a part of her daughter’s life.

“He thinks that biology is more important than being present,” Marcille said of McCall. “He’s extremely dysfunctional, and he’s not at a place where it’s safe for himself or for others.”

Fans of Marcille were quick to offer her support on Twitter.

The less reasonable are demanding more details.

Others were quick to highlight their favorite and most empowering quotes from Eva on the episode.


READ: News Of This Woman Killing Her 11-Year-Old Daughter Because She Suspected Her of ‘Having Sex’ Is Proof Of The Perils Of Purity Culture

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Are You A Victim Of Abuse? Use This Checklist To Help You Determine The Truth

Calladitas No More

Are You A Victim Of Abuse? Use This Checklist To Help You Determine The Truth

There are three ways that abuse can be identified. By the way your partner treats you physically, by the way they treat you emotionally, and by how you feel about the relationship. This checklist of twenty signs of abuse is one tool that you can use to see if you, or someone you know, is a victim of abuse. And remember, more resources for dealing with abuse can be found by calling The National Domestic Violence Hotline on 1800 799 7233.

1. They have grabbed you and refused to let go.

gabkaphoto / Instagram

This falls into the category of physical abuse. No-one should grab you to make you feel threatened and unsafe. No-one.

2. They have pulled your hair.

Instagram: @theerinblythedavis

This is another form of physical abuse. Sure, a bit of hair pulling in the act of passion is fine. But when it happens as part of an argument, or when your partner is deliberately trying to hurt you or make you feel threatened, that is abuse.

3. They have thrown things at you and/or destroyed your belongings.

Instagram: @beatfreak1996

One way your significant other may try to control you is through your belongings. Throwing things at you and destroying your belongings is designed to hurt you physically and emotionally. Threatening to do so also falls under this category of behavior, too.

4. They have left you with bruises, black eyes, bleeding, and/or broken bones.

Instagram: @veeegooose

While abuse doesn’t necessarily have to leave marks on your body, a sure sign of physical abuse in your relationship is when your partner does leave marks. Research shows that once it happens the first time, a “threshold” of sorts has been crossed, and an abuser is more likely to hurt their partner again.

5. They have threatened to hurt or kill you.

Instagram: @raquelitt

It may not seem like abuse, since there are no physical marks left from a threat to hurt or kill you. However, these threats are still part of the arsenal of tools that abusers use. How? Because these threats are designed to control your behavior, and make you feel powerless. Abuse in a relationship is about the abuser gaining and maintaining power, and death threats are a way of emotionally controlling you.

6. They have threatened to take your children away or harm them.

Instagram: @stephaniemaurasanchez

Even if you have children together, children shouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip in your relationship. Even more importantly, your children’s safety is non-negotiable: no partner of yours should threaten it. By the way, this doesn’t just apply to children. Pets can also be used to manipulate and control you in a relationship.

7. They have forced you to have sex.

Instagram: @jennylikesjewellery

Sex is not a “duty” to be fulfilled in a loving, equal relationship. Nor should your partner guilt trip or manipulate you into participating in sex acts after you have refused sex. Consent needs to be freely given! It doesn’t matter how long the two of you have been together. Otherwise, it’s classed as sexual assault.

8. They try to control you and treat you like a child.

Instagram: @silvia_almanza

Abusive relationships are about control and power. Part of treating you like a child is making you feel like you don’t have any control in the relationship, or even your life, so that you continue to stay and endure the abuse.

9. They make you feel like you need permission to make decisions or go somewhere.

Instagram: @kreeturefeature

This applies when you feel like you have to text at every moment to update your partner about where you are. And when you can’t spend time with friends or family without getting permission from your partner. This is because abusers commonly try to isolate their partner from other, platonic relationships with other people.

10. They try to take complete control of the finances and how you spend money.

Instagram: @loudmouthbruja

Controlling how money is earned and spent is known as financial abuse. People suffering from this type of abuse are commonly denied access to money by partners for doing simple tasks like grocery shopping. Or, sometimes the abuser decides whether and when their partner is allowed to work.

11. They cannot admit to being wrong.

Instagram: @abs_ter

Part of being in a respectful and loving relationship is being able to say sorry and to admit fault. An abusive partner refuses to apologise, because doing so would threaten their position of power in their relationship.

12. They accuse you of things that you know are not true.

Instagram: @estephaniaabarca

This is about control, and manipulating you. After all, if you’re spending your time trying to prove your innocence, then you’re not going to spend your time planning to leave the relationship, are you?

13. They do not take responsibility for their behavior.

Instagram: @lu.pazmi

The reality is, it’s not too much to ask someone to take responsibility for their behavior – even more so when it’s someone you’re in a relationship with. However, your partner doesn’t take responsibility for their behavior because doing so would threaten their position of power in the relationship.

14. They use “The Silent Treatment” to get their way.

Instagram: @yappaririri

Chances are you may have experienced “The Silent Treatment” before, in elementary school. And that’s where that behavior should stay. An equal, loving relationship is not built on one person using silence to manipulate the other person into conceding a point.

15. They make subtle threats or negative remarks about you.

Instagram: @noshophotography

Of course, there’s always room for some friendly sledging in a loving, respectful relationship. But, it turns into abuse when your partner does this on a regular basis to frighten, or control you. It’s possible they may even pass it off as a “joke”, or say that you’re “overreacting”. But again, if you’re in a loving relationship, then your partner should respect the fact that you’re hurt by a “joke”. They should not continue to make these types of comments.

16. You feel scared about how your significant other will act.

Instagram: @erikakardol

Repeat after us: you should have no reason to fear your partner in a loving, respectful relationship. You should have no reason to fear your partner in a loving, respectful relationship.

17. You feel that you can help your partner to change their behavior.

Instagram: @amnesia.r

But, only if you have changed something about yourself first.

18. You watch your behavior carefully so that you do not start a conflict in your relationship.

Instagram: @cmirandads

An abuser does not abuse all of the time. They maintain a cycle of abuse in the relationship. Things go from being tense, where you feel like you have to watch your own actions, to an incident which involves verbal, emotional, financial and physical abuse. Then, your partner attempts reconciliation or denies the abuse occurred, and the relationship goes into a calm stage. However, tensions will begin to build before long, starting the cycle once again.

19. You stay with your partner because you are afraid of what they would do if you broke up.

Instagram: @msstefniv

In other words, you feel trapped in your relationship because of your partner’s current, or potential, behavior. This can range from hurting you, your kids, your pets, your friends, and your family. Or, destroying your belongings, compromising access to your finances, or hurting themselves.

20. They don’t pass “The No Test”

Instagram: @kaitlyn_laurido

“The No Test” is pretty simple. Observe what happens the next time you tell your partner “no”. This could be in response to being asked out on a date, or maybe doing them a simple favor. Disappointment is a normal response to being told “no.”  However, pure outrage, violence, and/or emotional manipulation is not a reasonable response, and may indicate an abusive relationship.

If you feel that you are experiencing an abusive relationship, please seek help. Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline on 1800 799 7233 for assistance. Please take care if you feel that your internet or mobile phone device use is being monitored.

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