The Time I Told My Very Catholic Cuban Family That I Was Moving In With My Very Non-Catholic, Non-Cuban Boyfriend
I like to think that my boyfriend is pretty great and that that’s why my Cuban mother loves him. But the truth is she and my tías have been doing prayer circles with La Virgen to ensure she was blessed with healthy grandkids since the day I got my first period. Of course, my mom loves my boyfriend and sees how great he is, but she also loves and sees how he means a future where I’m not old and alone and she doesn’t have grandkids. It wouldn’t be too hard for her to like any guy willing to help her ensure this vision.
When I finally introduced my mom to my current boyfriend, she was beyond elated.Latin Grammys / CBS
Someone had FINALLY decided to court her furry-browed, flaca daughter con no tetas at long last!
It was a huge change of heart from her strict “no boy policy” from my high school days where novios were completely off limits.The Good Films / Giphy.com
Not that I could have even paid someone to date me, but even mentioning a crush to would turn into “Tú no necesitas un novio. Punto. Punto. PuntoPuntoPuntoPunto!”
But some things never change. And when I introduced my parents to my boyfriend, pretty soon my mother got it into her head that the possibility of heading down the isle was only a matter of minutes away.Monster-in-Law / Warner Bros.
Meanwhile my Abuela was convinced her prayers had been answered as well.Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, Full Force / Giphy.com
When she’d finally heard through our fast traveling grape vine, she called me up scream laughing tears of joy.
And the rest of my family was on standby for a wedding.United Artists / Giphy.com
So you can imagine how things went down when I told my very Catholic Cuban family that my very non-Catholic, non- Cuban boyfriend asked me to move across country and… live with him.Ugly Betty / ABC
Figuring out how to break the news to them took a lot of time and planning.Nobodies /Giphy.com
I wanted to be careful and avoid being cut off/ having my boyfriend murdered.
First, I called up my always-supportive and practical sister who quickly reminded me of how my mom would react.Comedy Central / Giphy.com
But my Catholic Cuban guilt outweighed my fears so I decided to just be honest.
When I finally broke the news to my parents over the phone my mother’s reaction equaled cannot compute.Youtube.com / Giphy.com
I could feel the decepción through the phone.
It took some time and a lot of conversations, but eventually she was able to come to terms with it.Love Rocks / Giphy.com
Even though I’m pretty she put her prayer work with the Virgin Mary on double time.
And while my mom was able to ultimately swallow the big pill also known as my move in with my boyfriend, she told me not to share the news with my abuelos.Warner Bros. / Giphy.com
They’re not that old, but she really didn’t want to risk giving them the news. Plus by then they had already started making down payments on my wedding gift. You know, because they’d learned I had a boyfriend. #MakesCubanSense
And of course this meant not all of the tías could be trusted with my secret.Youtube.com / Giphy.com
Because, chisme y’all.
So talking to my family on the phone became like hide-n-seek.Ugly Betty / ABC
I told my tías, tíos, and primos I would be moving across the country and that was also it. But of course they had questions. Like: “Qué pasa con tu novio?” “¿Todavía tienes novio?” “¿Te casarás el próximo año con tu novio?”
In the weeks prior to my move-in date my mom still tried to convince me to do otherwise.Netflix.com / Giphy.com
It was a huge source of stress that only added to my fears of going through with the move.
But ultimately when the day came, you better believe your girl’s familia had her back.MemeCenter.com
My mom and dad showed up with a moving truck, my siblings sent housewarming gifts and my abuela (who strongly suspects I’m living with my boyfriend) sent me a template for my wedding invitations.
Are you and your novio/a moving in together? Low-key share this story to see what your family thinks!
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