These Are The 20 Struggles I’ve Noticed While Using Dating Apps
Dating in 2018 is not easy. Anyone who has ever tried a dating app, which is most of us these days, can certainly tell you this. The good news, though, is that 59% of Americans think that online dating is a good way to meet people, according to the Pew Research Center. With very little stigma left for online dating, millennials are spending 10 hours a week on dating apps, according to research published earlier this year. I mean, how else are we supposed to find love these days? I say this as someone who met her husband on Bumble… Seriously, IS there even another way to do it?
But along with the good of dating apps, there is also plenty of bad. Talking with girlfriends over brunch one day, I discovered that all of us have faced the same dating app struggles over and over again. From just the sheer amount of time that it takes to find someone you match with (seriously, 10 hours a week?!) to people that lie to issues with communication style, here are the 20 biggest struggles of using dating apps. And don’t worry: Despite all of these, online dating is still well worth it… Just maybe schedule in an extra vent session with your chicas once in a while.
1. They take up a lot of time.lovely__feelings/Instagram
Sometimes, it just feels like you’re swiping endlessly before finding someone you match with.
2. Not knowing who should send the first message.kapalaweddings/Instagram
Once you HAVE matched, do you say hi first? Do you wait for the other person to do it? Sigh!
3. You end up finding the same people over and over again.couple_romanc3/Instagram
If you’re always looking for matches from home or your office, your location might be limited… So you end up seeing the same type of person again and again. Maybe it’s time to switch it up?
4. You’ll run into people you don’t want to.ellen.grf/Instagram
Um, your boss’ cousin? Your friend’s ex-boyfriend? All of that: YIKES!
5. Sometimes people lie in their photos._anastazja_/Instagram
Ever gone on a date with someone who is clearly two decades older than his photos? Yup, it happens.
6. You might end up meeting mega players.sankilatam/Instagram
Did you and your friend go on great first dates, decided to share the details, and then realize that you met the same exact guy? Yeah… Awkward.
7. Did we mention the occasional racist?loversempireofficial/Instagram
You can never know that the person you’re meeting online is good and, well, sometimes they’re just blatantly racist. This may not come out right away, so watch out.
8. You might end up meeting people only looking for a one night stand.marcelo_el_gringo/Instagram
Nothing wrong with it if that’s what you’re looking for, too, but people are not often honest about this starting out.
9. Tourists looking for a place to stay.relationship_crap101/Instagram
Similar to the people looking for a one night stand, there are actually people who are looking to crash with you for a night… because they’re from out of town.
10. People aren’t always serious.gaia_larghi/Instagram
Some people are on dating apps just to look around… and not actually serious about going on a date. That’s a huge waste of time, isn’t it?
11. Married people.wildheartslab/Instagram
Married people can get on dating apps. And not tell you they’re married. THE WORST.
12. In general, dating apps make it easy for people to lie.rides_n_hikes/Instagram
Whether it’s about their age, their pictures, their “single” status, or anything else, online dating makes it easier than ever to lie to people and… Well, that just sucks.
13. You might not know who is paying.nataliia_sz/Instagram
Are you paying because you messaged him first, or is he paying because he suggested going out for coffee, or do you split it because you suggested the place?
14. The first date isn’t actually a first date.couple_romanc3/Instagram
Unlike what most people think, a first date from online apps is actually a “meeting.” You don’t know each other yet, and you have to get together to determine if there’s any chemistry that’s worth pursuing in an actual date.
15. You might have different communication styles.prince_narula_prince/Instagram
When you meet someone on an app, you might start out texting a lot. Or you might go straight to a date. Everyone is different. Figuring out your matching styles, though, is the trick.
16. It can all be a little… vain.backpackdiariez/Instagram
Let’s face it: Swiping right (or left) on people is usually a visual assessment. Sure, you might take a quick peek at their profile, but you’re probably mostly judging them by their looks. (And visa versa.)
17. It’s just SUPER awkward.all_about_us_md/Instagram
Okay, so you matched: YAY! But how do you start the conversation? Or, if they message you first, how does it go? Often, it can just be plain awkward to figure out what to say in those first few messages. Do you ask about their job, their school, their friends, their family, what they do for fun? And then there’s just the plain old awkwardness of the conversation coming to a halt… Whomp whomp.
18. The competition is fierce.emma05021/Instagram
You may be hot stuff, but there’s tons of hotties on there. So, you know, your date might be matching with plenty of them, too.
19. You don’t know when to bring up exclusivity.loversempireofficial/Instagram
So, you’ve been on a few good dates with someone from a dating app. Now you’re ready to not date anyone else from the app. How do you bring it up? When do you bring it up? These are all complicated questions.
Just as there’s tons of competition and you might not know when to bring up exclusivity, you might also meet someone great and then not be ready to log off the apps yet because you’re afraid of missing out on someone greater. Um… Yeah, that’s not good either. Isn’t the point of dating apps to find someone you like to date? Don’t be afraid to take a chance. After all, you can delete your apps and re-download them just as easily.
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