As Mothers We Need To Stop Thinking ‘Pow-Pow’ And Chancla Culture Are An Acceptable Way Of Raising Our Kids
I’m what they call a millennial Latina mom. That means growing up I often endured the old school style of Latinos parenting where chanclas and “quieres pow pows” were meant to be the end all be all of “bad” behavior. Today, even despite the fact that the American Academy of Pediatrics has voiced their strong opinion that corporal punishment, physically disciplining your child, isn’t just inappropriate parenting, you can still find in our culture memes and jokes about la chancleta. And while the rate of spankings have gone down in recent years, polls have shown that those “good, hard spankings” that you might have “turned out alright” in spite of can cause long-term harm.
Here’s a look at the reasons why we have to stop spanking our kids.
Pow-pows teach the wrong lesson.
“Coco” / Walt Disney Pictures /Pixar Animation Studios
“It’s better to be feared than loved” is a sentiment often touted by managers and leaders who have an odd understanding of proper management. Mind you this phrase was also created by Niccolò Machiavelli a politician and philosopher who often encouraged dishonesty and the killing of innocents in certain situations in his work. Sure, this method of teaching which chancla culture stem from might encourage your child to cower at the sight of you when your raise a flip-flop but it also teaches them that you are not to be trusted particularly in a stage in their life when they are just learning.
Chanclas teach kids that they can get what they want by being physically violent.
harryswife801 / Twitter
As parents, we’re physically stronger and bigger than our children. When we use our size to overpower our children and try to get them to behave a certain way we’re teaching them that to get what you want you can abuse those who are smaller and weaker than they are. This is a classic example of why kids who are often abused at home often go to school and end up bullying their peers.
The reason for the spanking gets lots on them.
andheri5 / Twitter
They may forget why they are being spanked in the first place. They’re doing so much to avoid #lachancla that they can’t even fathom why they are in trouble.
Adults can lose control when expressing anger physically.
SaludAmerica / Twitter
When you give yourself a chance to hit your child you put yourself at risk of being an abusive parent. As adults we often experience so much stress and have a hard time coping as it is when we are frustrated, upset, sad or tired. When we start to hit our kids during moments of stress, our minds ultimately begin to associate the feeling as a release for the mind. Soon enough you could look to abusing your kid as a way to stop feeling stressed out.
It could damage your relationship with your child.
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Studies on the effects of physical punishment have found that the more spankings a child receives, the more likely they are to become defiant towards their parents and authorities, which means a decrease in the quality of their relationships with their parents.
You may not get the reaction you are looking for.
“Coco” / Walt Disney Pictures /Pixar Animation Studios
When spanking a child it’s likely that your initial intent might be to correct your child’s poor behavior, but what extents will you go in the moment of punishment if the reaction you want doesn’t happen?
You become the bully
FanGirl / Twitter
Kids are resilient and remember everything. Why let them think of you like that? After so long they will start to remember. Why become the bully instead of the parent?
Disrupting their self-confidence
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It’s almost like being in a relationship and feeling like you are emotionally being tortured. That’s what it’s like for kids. Even though they lose to test you and think everything is funny. Doing this constantly just is not.
You’re bullying a future child who will go onto get bullied by others
SaludAmerica / Twitter
Then parents wonder why their kids are being bullied. Even being yelled at furiously. Many kids end up becoming the bullied from being bullied at home. What’s more, children are more likely to become adult victims of abuse when they are older if they think that their parent’s abusive behavior is appropriate.
They won’t be a leader
vikypicon / Instagram
Growing up I was always taught the future of a Latina is being a leader. When you instill bullying or fear how is your child going to be a leader when you aren’t?
You’re not strong
EuniqueJG / Twitter
Spanking your kids can cause kids to think about all the pain they have to endure instead what they should focus on.
It’s really not that funny
lgbtdaniela / Twitter
La Chancla is classic even to Latinos. All in all, it’s not as funny as many people put it. Realizing this is not a funny way to discipline will help in the long run.
Older peers aren’t that powerful
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Every generation is different. It’s okay to give lessons to your parents or grandparents gave you. Have your own form of parenting to make your own mark.
I don’t want to be that parent
Modern Family
As a mother I don’t want to be pushed so using positive reinforcement is the way to go or you do end up feeling like spanking is the way to go.
Our world is already full of violence
dulcedolan / Twitter
Fueling to the fire isn’t what Latinos are about. We want peace even within our families. We don’t want to be the stereotype on why the world is the way it is. This all starts at home.
I’m not the reason why mental health is out of control
journoresource / Twitter
Our kids are the future. This means their mental health can become at stake when spanking as a form discipline.
I’m not their friend but I am their role model
hakire / Instagram
This is the main part of being a Latino mom. Uplifting to do better than what you had. Even if you had a great life before motherhood.
You’re raising an influencer
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Making sure your child knows their worth is important. By spanking your kids you may instill a notion that they aren’t.
It’s the 2000’s, not 1950!
I Love Lucy
Things have changed. That even includes parenting. It was okay to spank your kids but after all this time look at what it has put on our society and our future. What does it really teach you as a Latina Mom. Be strong and better than that.
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